A:

A: You wrote: Please help me understand why my son took his life. Was this planned or an unthought out decision? Why did he choose to live homeless when he knew he was hurting those around him? Where is my guardian angel now that I need him?

Thank you so much for writing to us here at TruthBook, and opening your heart this way. I can’t tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. Any parent’s heart cries when hearing of such a painful experience as you are having. It is every parent’s worst nightmare…I cannot begin to understand your pain, but I do sympathize because I am a parent, too. Just imagining this hurts my feelings, too. It sounds as if your son had forged a life apart from you, and his decision to end this life when help was there for him is tearing you apart.

The questions you’re asking beg answers…why, why, why?

I wish so much that I could give you answers that would ease your mind and bring you some peace; unfortunately, I cannot. But can tell you that your guardian angel has never left you. The angels are very near to us, and they understand our heartfelt emotions.

Our angels are not able to affect outcomes of a life…they are simply guides; they lead us and guard us, helping us make the best of the directions that we choose. Your child also had angelic help, but perhaps the issues that he was facing in his inner life were such that he could not hear – or maybe he didn’t know he could ask for that kind of help.

In this life, so many struggle…so many trudge the path of life with inner turmoil that feels overwhelming. If only he could have held on a little while longer, things would likely have changed…but it is really useless for us to try and understand the heart or the motives of another. Even our beloved children grow up to have minds and directions that we cannot control, and that are ultimately not our responsibility.

Now, we have to go forward from where we find ourselves. The past cannot be changed, but the future is ours to shape.

I hope you are a Urantia Book reader, and that you are aware that your son is not truly lost; his physical presence in this earthly life is gone, and you’ll always miss him terribly, but one fine day, you will be joining him in the mansions on high, where he will be waiting for you. In God’s universe, nothing of value is ever lost. The goodness that your son brought to your life – the happiness he once gave to you – the love that you feel for him and the happy memories you treasure…these are eternal values that will never perish.

It may not have been God’s will that your son leave you in this way, but it IS his will that your beloved child not perish. His immortal soul was years in the making, and the loveliest part of him is still very much alive. I like to think that his troubles are over, that his future is bright and clear ahead of him. I’d like to agree with you in prayer right now that this is true…

While angelic help is important to mortals, even more important than angelic help is the very intimate and real presence of God within your heart and mind. While angels are very helpful, they cannot minister in our minds and hearts as God can. God lives within your very being – he is always as close as a thought, and he is there for you right now.

Allow yourself to fall at the foot of the cross, and lay your sorrowful burden down there; you don’t have to carry it alone. Ask your angel to help pave the way for you. God is there for you, and he wants to help…just ask him. Pour it all out in a quiet time just between you and God. Ask your questions and listen for that inner voice of the Father that will tell you the truth of the matter.

And in the meantime, I’d like to invite you to visit our page on The Afterlife. You’ll find an inspiring video, various links to The Urantia Book, topical studies, as well as a link to our online magazine called There Is Life After Death just in case you may be unfamiliar with The Urantia Book’s inspiring teachings about this important subject.

Again, I am so sorry to hear this sad news; at the same time, I am honored that you feel you can unburden yourself a little bit here, and I do hope that my reply has been somewhat helpful to you. I have you firmly in my prayers this day and in the days and weeks to come. Please write back any time…