Q: My friend’s husband is really, really angry at God for the terminal cancer that his brother-in-law is facing – it seems so unfair to him. Do you have any insight as to how to address this?
A: The most important thing I would tell someone who was angry at God for the illness and impending death of a loved is that everyone dies. There is nobody on earth that doesn’t die sooner or later. This is a fact of our existence and to some degree the only variable is how we will die. There are some blessings involved in dying with an illness that allows everyone time to assimilate the reality of it, take care of business and say their goodbyes. It’s much harder when someone dies accidentally and leaves many things undone. Even so, death happens to everyone and it will happen to this woman’s husband too.
From God’s point of view, death is not an end but a beginning and it helps to try to get people to look at it that way. Death is really just another birth in an endless cycle of life. The analogy of birth really helps me a lot. Before a person is born they have everything they need. They are in a warm and nurturing environment. Then suddenly the same environment that sustained their being is now totally rejecting them. It must be terribly traumatic. Soon they go from a very small closed environment, where everything is provided rather automatically, to a huge open environment where nothing is provided except when they cry. No wonder they cry so much. But think of the loving hands and warm smiling faces that greet new babies.
Emergence into the next world is no different. Perhaps your friend can get her husband to imagine the joy on the other side when a newly born soul arrives over there. Imagine the joy of reunion for those loved ones who have already passed over and the joy of God and the angels to welcome this beloved child to the shores of the next phase of their ongoing existence. Also, there is the indescribable personal joy of the one who dies but then makes the awesome discovery that there really is no death.
She can remind her husband that because God is the perfect loving parent he feels our pain and is afflicted with us, just as her husband would be afflicted by the pain of his own children.
Some human suffering is unavoidable. God does not dole out death and suffering, these things are brought about by life on the material worlds. However, trust in the goodness of God does give us the comfort and hope that gets us through these difficulties.
Also, comfort your friend with the simple reality that God understands why we humans get angry at him but truly experiences nothing but love for us. Anger does not exist in God. He knows that, compared to eternal viewpoints, human viewpoints are as limited as the vision of a new born baby. Her husband will come to peace in time, anger is part of a grieving process and most people move beyond it, sooner or later.
Please see our Life After Death page, where you’ll find our e-magazine “There Is Life After Death,” as well as flash movies about life after death, and other uplifting features that will help and inspire you and your friend.”