Q: My son committed suicide at the age of 22. I feel guilt for not realizing his pain. Instead I was always pushing him to do better. Is there anything I can do now for him?
A: I am so sorry that you have had to bear the loss of your son and now, the burden of guilt that has followed. My sincere condolences for your loss. I can only imagine what this has meant to you, but I get the feeling that you have come to some point of acceptance…that you just want to know he’s okay, and happy with God.
The act of suicide is devastating to those who are left to make sense of it—those like you, who are now facing crushing guilt over things that you cannot change. This is a hard and sometimes long-lasting consequence of suicide.
It is probably a natural reaction of a parent to feel some responsibility when they discover that their child has lived in such unhappiness that they would take their own life. That is a big and heavy burden…you likely find yourself re-thinking and re-imagining things you might have done differently had you only known. I hope that you will soon be able to see that it was not your fault, but a result of some weakness in your son’s character that he just could not overcome. But God is not willing that any should perish, and this includes your son.
Rest assured that through the loving ministrations of angels and other celestial helpers, he will learn to overcome all of his problems where he is now, and he will emerge better and stronger. And one day you’ll see him again, and it will be a joyous reunion.
What you can do for your son now is to forgive him, and most importantly, forgive yourself. The human heart is so deep, so unfathomable—only God can read it accurately. Even those nearest and dearest to us can be unreadable and beyond understanding. But we can’t blame ourselves for what others decide to do. All of us have free will…we are all flawed humans and we just do the best we can. Sometimes life just is too hard for some, but death is not the end of the story.
For now, you can stay close to God, and lay this burden at his feet. Pray for your son, and ask God to bring you comfort and peace of mind in place of the guilt.
Unlike many types of religious thought in the world today, the religious teachings of The Urantia Book are very comforting when it comes to salvation, redemption, and forgiveness. I’d like to offer you this link to our page on “Life after Death.” There are some lovely things there that might give you some information, some inspiration and some comfort.
Again, thanks so much for writing to us here at Truthbook.com. I hope that this reply has been of help to you today.”