Please note that all rules are number “1”:

1.	Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining because you left it down.
1.	Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1.	Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1.	Crying is blackmail.
1.	Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1.	We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1.	Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1.	Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1.	Check your oil! Please!
1.	Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1.	If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1.	Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
1.	You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1.	ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.	If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. It’s genetic.
1.	We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1.	If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1.	When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!
1.	Don’t tell us to get in shape. ROUND is a shape.