Q: What are appropriate sexual relations with a life partner?
A: If you have a life partner, lucky you! So many feel unfulfilled in this area.
As you are well aware, sex enjoys a very big focus in our American society—and an undeserved one, in my opinion. I imagine it is because so many of us equate love with sex, and everyone desires love; but one can have a perfectly happy—and love-filled—life without sex. Sexual relations are not a necessary ingredient for a whole life, despite what we see in our advertisements and entertainment, but sex is a necessary ingredient if one wishes to create children and family. Again, this pursuit of family is not necessary to enjoy a fulfilled life. But the urge for closeness and connection which can be found in the bodily blending of two souls is a strong draw, and it is easy to see why so many of us fall into the trap of trying to secure this close connection through sex bonding without first establishing a true love-connection through the blending of minds and souls. The desire for physical bonding is the end of a natural progression from the intellectual to the spiritual connection that we may form with that special person with whom we wish to create a life-long partnership.
Since you imply by your question that you have a life partner, I would say that you would to well to always follow the “golden rule” in the area of sexual relations, as well as all other forms of communication. Always treat that person with the respect and care that you yourself would wish that they treat you. As for the details of this kind of relationship, I cannot judge or prescribe. Many things are possible, but are all things desireble? This is something that only you and your partner can determine. Any long-term relationship must be based on genuine and mutual personal devotion, and all other things will follow happily if that basis is first established
The Urantia Book treats sex largely in a historical context—as one important ingredient in the progression of civilization; but one thing it does say is that sex can be the source of much sorrow if used intemperately. I think many of us from the age of the “sexual revolution” of the 60’s can attest to the truth of that admonition. Unfortunately, there is no rule-book regarding the sexual relations of individuals, but the strong, healthy bonding of two souls, based on true love and mutual devotion is a great place to start.”