Q: What does The Urantia Book say about soul mates? I’ve been having a hard time finding a woman to have a relationship with.
A: The idea of soul mates—that there are souls out there who are somehow destined to be together—well, it’s a pretty idea, and I guess that when one finds a certain person with whom they click, it may appear that it was “meant to be.” I pray that you can find that special girl…
While The Urantia Book does not specifically mention the idea of soul mates, it IS full of inspiration about love, about marriage and family—and about relationships in general. Relationships are one of THE most important things we do here. Remember this passage? “…personality and the relationships between personalities are never scaffolding; mortal memory of personality relationships has cosmic value…” And the most prized relationship is that special one that leads to marriage and family, so no wonder you want this in your life…
Sometimes, when we want something very badly, and we don’t have what we want, we can get into a pattern of thinking about the lack of it, instead of thinking about what it is that we want in a more positive way—in other words, thinking about how wonderful that relationship will be. I would suggest to you that instead of thinking that you’re having a hard time finding a nice woman, think about the happiness that lies ahead when you DO find her. See yourself smiling, laughing, holding hands, having dinner together, etc…think of it as if it’s already happened, and you’re so grateful and happy. Make this a mental habit…
In the meantime, go to where women are—you can strike up conversations with women in non-threatening ways and in neutral places, such as your local grocery store, library, or church. Do you have a church congregation? If not, now might be a good time to find one. When you see someone you like, ask questions—that’s how Jesus got to know people…everyone loves to talk about themselves, so formulate some good questions to ask. If you’re in a grocery store, and you see a nice-looking woman, ask her if she knows how to tell if this pear is ripe, or if she knows how to cook this artichoke. She may suspect that you are interested in HER, and that’s okay, but if you are sincerely friendly, she will likely talk to you. If not, she’s probably not your girl…don’t be discouraged, just move forward.
Join a hiking club, a chess club, a bridge club, a photography club, a bowling league…and there are others—whatever your interests are. You can probably find these things online in your town. Make friends first, whomever you decide to talk with…get to know them, and always ask them about themselves, so you can understand them better. Make a real effort to be sincerely interested in whomever you decide to talk to, wherever, whenever…I guarantee that this is the way to make friends. And friendship is the first step to any meaningful relationship.
Above all, love yourself!!! Accept yourself as a beloved child of God, and smile at the world. Smiles will come back to you…if you feel sad and lonely, that shows through also, so that’s why I advise you to elevate your thinking to the happiness that is yet to come. It will make you feel better if you have a positive attitude, no matter what…and everyone likes talking with a genuinely friendly person who is happy and confident in himself.
You are still a very young man…a lot of life ahead of you. Make sure that you pray about this every day, pour out your heart to God, and thank him for bringing that special person to you…and then just keep your eyes open for an opportunity to present itself. You won’t have to worry. If you pray about it and have an expectant faith, surely God will answer you.
And, even if your prayers are not answered as you want, you’ll do yourself a great favor if you learn to be happy in and of yourself. Beneficial relationship with others begins with relationship with self and relationship with God. Get those two straight, and all else will fall into place.
Best wishes, and thanks again for writing to us with this question. I hope that my reply has been helpful to you. I am adding you to my prayer list and I hope to hear back from you when that special someone appears in your life!