My granddaughter Peachy recently turned five. She has had a baby Jesus doll since she was three. Long story about how I am with her now, but her father died in an accident a couple of years ago and she is without parents for now.
She has lost both her parents, but her mother gave her this doll, and her child psychologist says that this doll is very important to her continued emotional recovery.
Her baby Jesus, which she still calls Dedus because that was how she pronounced Jesus from when she was a tiny girl, is twelve inches tall, is a little bit ratty and no longer has his gown. Yes, he is a naked baby Dedus. I call him Dedus too because that is his name. She has only recently begun to understand who the historic Jesus really is and that her baby is a representation of him. She has been offered and given new, expensive and fancy dolls which lay untouched in a corner of her room…go figure.
People have tried to entice and bribe her away from Dedus, all to no avail. I have never tired to offer her another doll; if and when she may be ready for one, it will have to come from inside her little heart is what I say. And who knows? Perhaps Dedus is meeting all her needs and in him she is completely satisfied; she never shows any attention to other dolls and is not much interested in other toys or activities which don’t involve that naked doll. Dedus has no hair and he is made of a plastic compound which is no long in use; his halo is rubber-welded to his head.
But it’s her baby, halo and all, and that’s that as far as I am concerned. She says that he doesn’t like those clothes on him, so we just go along. She has had Dedus with her for more than two years and he sleeps with her and is always in her hand when she leaves the house.
As we drive to go to places she is forever holding the naked baby Dedus up to passing strangers. The other day she got her Happy Meal and while she was looking down stuffing her beautiful little face with french fries, she never missed a beat when we passed another car she kept feeding with the left hand and held up Dedus with the right so that the people driving by could see him.
But if you want to see the cutest thing in the world, you should see her when we go into a store and she has her Dedus with her. Every time somebody comes near her she holds Dedus up to them at arms length and will stare them down until they leave or in most cases they will respond to her in a very friendly way. It’s not you average child’s type of doll and they often ask her where did you get him? She just replies “from my Mama”.
She has beautiful blue eyes and medium length loose curls of white blonde hair; even if they are in a hurry, they will look back, appreciate and study those eyes. So naturally nine out of ten people who see that adorable scene lean down to her and say, That’s a pretty baby or some such things, often flattering her. She doesn’t seem to care at all about compliments to herself but she takes some kind of great pride and satisfaction when they compliment Dedus.
I’m still trying to figure out what is going on with Peachy and Dedus. I woke up from a dream the other night with the thought that the girl is suffering those feelings of abandonment and that the displaying is an enactment of her hidden desire for her mother to be in her life and available to love her, to be proud of her and to show the world how important her baby is to her as the mother. Maybe that is what she has missed in her life and she is compensating for it by living out that desire through Dedus. In her imagination Peachy assumes the role of her mother and the baby symbolizes Peachy heself. Or perhaps it’s no more complicated that a little girl loves her doll and wants everybody to know it. Again, still trying to understand it.
She knows about Jesus and it just makes her prouder about Dedus. She refuses to call Dedus by the correct pronunciation of Jesus. And that’s fine with me because I too have become attached to baby Dedus–this little imaginary, but in some ways very real person, as well as with his unique name. I think he has had a positive effect on both of us.
Early in the evening Peachy goes to prepare Dedus for bed and tuck him in. I always give them that time alone. But from the other room I can hear her little voice as sweet as an angel singing him to sleep with the only song she knows and she does pronounce the name correctly when she sings: Jesus Loves Me This I Know.
I secretly recorded it and played it for relatives at our big family Christmas get together. There wasn’t a dry eye to be seen.
Peachy knows the difference between Jesus and Dedus, but I suspect she might know something else that we don’t fully understand: that Jesus and Dedus may be much more closely connected than the rest of us realize.
As a younger man I never keenly felt the sacred aspect of child caring responsibility. I thought I knew, but I realize that I only knew it in theory, but it never penetrated to my soul like it has with the responsibility I now find that I have. And I have just had this thought: The little throw away doll has now become almost as important to me as it has to her, but of course it is all because of her. Dedus is very special.
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Jesus is special to so many, young and old alike. He exerts a particular influence on some. Would you like to know more about Jesus? Why people loved him when he was here, and why they still love him? Please see our character study of the Master
