A: You wrote: Please help me understand why
my son took his life. Was this planned or an
unthought out decision? Why did he choose to
live homeless when he knew he was hurting those
around him? Where is my guardian angel now that
I need him?
Thank you so much for writing to us here
at TruthBook, and opening your heart this way.
I can't tell you how very sorry I am for your
loss. Any parent's heart cries when hearing of
such a painful experience as you are having.
It is every parent's worst nightmare...I cannot
begin to understand your pain, but I do
sympathize because I am a parent, too. Just
imagining this hurts my feelings, too. It
sounds as if your son had forged a life apart
from you, and his decision to end this life
when help was there for him is tearing you
The questions you're asking beg
answers...why, why, why?
I wish so much that I could give you
answers that would ease your mind and bring you
some peace; unfortunately, I cannot. But can
tell you that your guardian angel has never
left you. The angels are very near to us, and
they understand our heartfelt emotions.
Our angels are not able to affect outcomes
of a life...they are simply guides; they lead
us and guard us, helping us make the best of
the directions that we choose. Your child also
had angelic help, but perhaps the issues that
he was facing in his inner life were such that
he could not hear - or maybe he didn't know he
could ask for that kind of help.
In this life, so many struggle...so many
trudge the path of life with inner turmoil that
feels overwhelming. If only he could have held
on a little while longer, things would likely
have changed...but it is really useless for us
to try and understand the heart or the motives
of another. Even our beloved children grow up
to have minds and directions that we cannot
control, and that are ultimately not our
Now, we have to go forward from where we
find ourselves. The past cannot be changed, but
the future is ours to shape.
I hope you are a Urantia
Book reader, and that you are aware that
your son is not truly lost; his physical
presence in this earthly life is gone, and
you'll always miss him terribly, but one fine
day, you will be joining him in the mansions on
high, where he will be waiting for you. In
God's universe, nothing of value is ever lost.
The goodness that your son brought to your life
- the happiness he once gave to you - the love
that you feel for him and the happy memories
you treasure...these are eternal values that
will never perish.
It may not have been God's will that your
son leave you in this way, but it IS his will
that your beloved child not perish. His
immortal soul was years in the making, and the
loveliest part of him is still very much alive.
I like to think that his troubles are over,
that his future is bright and clear ahead of
him. I'd like to agree with you in prayer right
now that this is true...
While angelic help is important to mortals,
even more important than angelic help is the
very intimate and real presence of God within
your heart and mind. While angels are very
helpful, they cannot minister in our minds and
hearts as God can. God lives within your very
being - he is always as close as a thought, and
he is there for you right now.
Allow yourself to fall at the foot of the
cross, and lay your sorrowful burden down
there; you don't have to carry it alone. Ask
your angel to help pave the way for you. God is
there for you, and he wants to help...just ask
him. Pour it all out in a quiet time just
between you and God. Ask your questions and
listen for that inner voice of the Father that
will tell you the truth of the matter.
And in the meantime, I'd like to invite you
to visit our page on The
Afterlife. You'll find an inspiring video,
various links to The Urantia Book, topical
studies, as well as a link to our online
magazine called There Is Life After
Death just in case you may be unfamiliar
with The Urantia Book's inspiring teachings
about this important subject.
Again, I am so sorry to hear this sad news;
at the same time, I am honored that you feel
you can unburden yourself a little bit here,
and I do hope that my reply has been somewhat
helpful to you. I have you firmly in my prayers
this day and in the days and weeks to come.
Please write back any time...