CZINDY wrote:
2 weeks ago, my life-partner of 25 years died after a 5 month battle with Leukemia. For the previous 5 years he had MDS (a blood disease) so we knew death was eventually coming (& this meant we had years to talk about it before hand) but our many discussions do not stop the pervasive loneliness I feel.
We were so close, we didn't even need to talk, we understood each others feelings & thoughts with ease with just a look or movement. After his death, I had planned to go back to school for 3 months to because a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant), & spend my life caring for others, but because of my age (65), the virus has put a halt to these plans. I have many tasks that need doing, so I am not bored, but I am extreamily lonely at times.
Because of Covid-19, the grief support groups in my area are not meeting. - It's taken these past 2 weeks for grief to creep in & really begin to hit me. & what's made it worse, is that the virus has forced even more isolation. He & I were both Urantia Book readers, so I thought I'd turn here to my fellow U-Book readers for at least a bit of solace.
I feel so lonely, but do not want to burden my 3 adult children with endless phone conversations. They are there for me, but they have lives to live. I do have one friend I have been talking to for long stretches each evening, but I can tell that this friend is getting tired of being my only support.
As many of you know, grief is something you have to experience to really understand.
Thank you to everyone for listening.
Godspeed recovering from this loss, Czindy. The down side of love is grief. When we open our hearts to another person, even a pet, their death brings unavoidable pain and inconsolable loneliness, for a while. All my core family has gone ahead (daughter, sister, mother, father), seems like its been one period of grieving after another since 2015. So, I keep busy with dissemination projects and use Zoom to connect with UBers all over Urantia, there's been a surge in such meetings since Covid. Take this link to Urantia University Institute for their daily schedule: https://urantiauniversity.org/resources/UUI%20Cafe_Attaining%20Unbroken%20Communion%20with%20God%205.6.20.pdf
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