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A forum for issues regarding family life and child rearing.
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stepping out . . .

Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:55 am +0000

Thanks to Al, Red and Joer for thoughtful replies to a post that, for personal reasons, I feel compelled to delete.

Last edited by susan on Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:11 pm +0000, edited 1 time in total.

Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:23 am +0000

Susan Wrote:
“How do we share what we've, oft times painfully, learned from our life experiences with our children/stepchildren/childreninlaws/grandchildren so that they will best receive it and perhaps NOT have to experience the same pain(s) yet again?

I know this is an age-old query so I am not looking for the age-old answer of "that's just the way it is" . . . I’m looking for something deeper and wiser and possibly Urantia Book/Jesus teachings' based. Also, I'd especially like to receive answers from multigenerational perspectives, that is, grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren, if possible.”

Hey Susan! :smile:

Nice to meet ya. As a parent with a whole lot less experience than you, I can only say that it is all about the timing. AND knowing what NOT to say, as well as what TO say. Things are gonna come up. Somebody dies, someone is born. An accident. A wedding. Life has a way of taking care of raising the proper moments.

But, like it or not, everyone has to stumble down their own path. One of the most telling phrases in the Urantia Book is that without some tribulation, we mortals don’t thrive. Our thought adjusters don’t want our lives to be too easy; they want us to be challenged. Another telling thread in the UB is that an apparent gift of fate can be one of life’s greatest afflictions. One does not have to go much further than the newspaper, to read about the follow-on life of some lottery winner, to understand that!

I wish I could tell you that I know when and where to tell my family about the UB. But I don’t. It’s an individual thing, based on the timing, the circumstance, and the personality involved. I just try to live a life of loving service. I figure if I live it, then they will see it. Sometimes they ask my opinion on things, mostly not. But if you live it, if you quietly and discreetly interject it into your everyday conversation, then they will come to know it, and, unconsciously, to accept it.

Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:50 pm +0000

Depends on what kind of pain you want to warn them about. The media does a good job with some problems like warnings about pedophiles, though the media does a miserable job, especially in Europe, about telling families HOW to make their marriage and family life work, and how to circumvent difficulties.

What is it about your painful experiences witch makes you think they need to avoid experiencing the same?

Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:57 pm +0000

Susan bury them in the sand. Tell them when the answer is important to them they must feel their connection to everything that exists. My eighteen year old about 3 weeks ago. Starting her second semester at college and coming back from visiting her Grandma in Mexico and getting caught in the experiential time differential of the rhythm of existence between the two cultures got disoriented and lost her connection to her centeredness.

As a last resort she came to me. (sound familiar :-) She said how she didn't know what to do in her life. Didn't know where she was going or what she wanted to do. She was really upset. And was at that stage where living and dying held the same amount of attraction in her life. A very dangerous place. Since going to College she has become involved in indigenous culture. And has had an interest in it.

It's like AL says the timing is important. Life creates these point of CRUX in our lives and it is at these we may make a decision that affects us the rest of our lives. And as a youngster like you know, we don't have the hindsight our parents have to highlight the right way to go. Neither do our parents have the power to violate our sovereign FREE WILL choice. They can try to influence us but we choose.

I know you know all that stuff Susan, so lets get back to practical applications. I see her need. I see her interest and trust in the indigenous. So with that timing and a sagacious approach. I saw "I have to bury you in the Sand." You must find your connection to Mother Earth, to Nature, to The Great Sprit and the Source of All that exists. You must find your foundation again. She looks at me weird and says, "OK". I left out one thing she loves the beach. ;-) "We must go now. Are you ready?"

She says yes and we go. We walk on top of a dune move off the Trail to her left. I said, "lie down. Find a place where you are comfortable." I have her move a little this way and a little that way to center her in a little shallow in the sand to make it easier to bury her. I had her reverse her head and feat so her face would feel the warmth of the Sun upon it. It was a little cold. I wanted to keep her out of the shadow. When she was just right I told her "OK right there." And proceeded to bury her.

Oh I forgot to tell you, on the way we took her favorite way to the beach on a remote country road through the hills. About a 40 min. trip from our house. I stop in a place complete in shadow By some 100 plus year old Coast Redwood trees. I told her to get out and commune with the trees. She did it quite intuitively. I said they were alive when there was no road here and the Indians passed by them walking over the hills when this was just a foot trail. The Trees remembered them. They are related to us by there life. In our life we move around and experience things. In their life they experience things as they pass by. I said they know. Hug them feel there life. Let them ground you to the earth Our Mother so you can feel your roots in your connection to Our Mother Earth with our brother and sister trees. This was about 20 minutes then we left.

Ok so I’m burying her at the beach I pray to Our Mother earth to embrace her daughter to allow her daughter to feel her connection to the Great Spirit of all that exists from which the cosmos were created. I prayed for Her (Our earth Mother) to heal her daughter. Her daughter who sprang from her in the same life that is center in the ALL that is the center of everything. I said remind her where she came from. Remind her that she is your daughter and you live because that is the gift that was given you. We live to serve each other in Honor of the Great Sprit from which our life comes. It is a precious gift we are given and we must use it with care.

Well at a certain point I ran out of words or it was time to go because she had to pick up her little sister at school at 3:30pm and we has left about 12:30pm. It was time to go. I said OK “Your healed take your time to feel how your Mother loves you and how you are grounded in her and then lets’ go.

Latter she said she felt better. A few days latter she said “How’d did you know where to put me in the sand.” “It felt like I was in just the right place.” “I put you where your Mother wanted you to be.”, I said. Leaving it a mystery for her to solve at a future date.

She wasn’t totally cured but within about two weeks she said “I know I can’t change others, they still do what they want and it’s frustrating.” But I decided I can change myself and I decided to focus on my studies. She didn’t see me but I sighed a great sigh of relief. Whew. That was close. Lucked out again.

We do the best we can Susan. The rest is up to them. And thank God, God is with them and a bunch of other celestial’s who want to guide them the right way as much as we do. BUT we each have to do our part and then pray. Like I said recently,

Free Will can’t live with it, can’t Survive without it. Someday choosing the right way won’t be such a hard thing to do. Until then it’s up to us to do the best we can to change that.

God’s peace and Love be with you and us All.


Re: stepping out . . .

Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:13 pm +0000

Dear Joe,

Your daughter will never forget that beautiful lesson that you taught her. With tender loving care and devotion you shone your love upon your daughter so she could find the peace that often times eludes us in this life. You are gone now, but the spirit of your life and the spirit of your love now lives in your daughter. She carries a piece of you in her heart.

And when we come to realize that we have spirit persons as our true parents then we awaken to their love and their devotion. When we feel torn to pieces by a cruel world, we return to the comforting embrace of warm sand gently caressing us once again. We feel the refreshing ocean breeze and the scent of pine that fills the air around us.

Our spirit parents all always at the ready to shine their love upon us when we find ourselves at a crossroads. We feel that we cannot go forward, nor can we go back to the things that we have left behind. But with their unconditional love we can arise once again to continue the journey.

Little did you know that a few months removed from your act of love that the Father of us all would call you to the mansion worlds to continue the journey that you started when you had sand between your toes. For what can we leave behind that has any lasting value? Long after we are gone, our acts of love will live in the hearts and minds of the ones that we have left behind. Love can sometimes be discovered while buried in the sand and the sun shining upon our face.

Like the rays of the sun you reflected the love of the Father in your life. And no doubt you are continuing to do so upon the mansion worlds. You let your light shine before men. And this man is eternally grateful. Until we meet again my friend.

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