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My Pervasive Grief

Wed May 06, 2020 8:37 pm +0000

2 weeks ago, my life-partner of 25 years died after a 5 month battle with Leukemia. For the previous 5 years he had MDS (a blood disease) so we knew death was eventually coming (& this meant we had years to talk about it before hand) but our many discussions do not stop the pervasive loneliness I feel.

We were so close, we didn't even need to talk, we understood each others feelings & thoughts with ease with just a look or movement. After his death, I had planned to go back to school for 3 months to because a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant), & spend my life caring for others, but because of my age (65), the virus has put a halt to these plans. I have many tasks that need doing, so I am not bored, but I am extreamily lonely at times.

Because of Covid-19, the grief support groups in my area are not meeting. - It's taken these past 2 weeks for grief to creep in & really begin to hit me. & what's made it worse, is that the virus has forced even more isolation. He & I were both Urantia Book readers, so I thought I'd turn here to my fellow U-Book readers for at least a bit of solace.

I feel so lonely, but do not want to burden my 3 adult children with endless phone conversations. They are there for me, but they have lives to live. I do have one friend I have been talking to for long stretches each evening, but I can tell that this friend is getting tired of being my only support.

As many of you know, grief is something you have to experience to really understand.
Thank you to everyone for listening.

Re: My Pervasive Grief

Thu May 07, 2020 3:01 am +0000

CZINDY wrote:2 weeks ago, my life-partner of 25 years died after a 5 month battle with Leukemia. For the previous 5 years he had MDS (a blood disease) so we knew death was eventually coming (& this meant we had years to talk about it before hand) but our many discussions do not stop the pervasive loneliness I feel.

We were so close, we didn't even need to talk, we understood each others feelings & thoughts with ease with just a look or movement. After his death, I had planned to go back to school for 3 months to because a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant), & spend my life caring for others, but because of my age (65), the virus has put a halt to these plans. I have many tasks that need doing, so I am not bored, but I am extreamily lonely at times.

Because of Covid-19, the grief support groups in my area are not meeting. - It's taken these past 2 weeks for grief to creep in & really begin to hit me. & what's made it worse, is that the virus has forced even more isolation. He & I were both Urantia Book readers, so I thought I'd turn here to my fellow U-Book readers for at least a bit of solace.

I feel so lonely, but do not want to burden my 3 adult children with endless phone conversations. They are there for me, but they have lives to live. I do have one friend I have been talking to for long stretches each evening, but I can tell that this friend is getting tired of being my only support.

As many of you know, grief is something you have to experience to really understand.
Thank you to everyone for listening.



Godspeed recovering from this loss, Czindy. The down side of love is grief. When we open our hearts to another person, even a pet, their death brings unavoidable pain and inconsolable loneliness, for a while. All my core family has gone ahead (daughter, sister, mother, father), seems like its been one period of grieving after another since 2015. So, I keep busy with dissemination projects and use Zoom to connect with UBers all over Urantia, there's been a surge in such meetings since Covid. Take this link to Urantia University Institute for their daily schedule: https://urantiauniversity.org/resources/UUI%20Cafe_Attaining%20Unbroken%20Communion%20with%20God%205.6.20.pdf

.

Re: My Pervasive Grief

Thu May 07, 2020 8:31 am +0000

Dearest CZINDY,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. So sad to know of your loneliness and isolation. And all made worse by the current situation with this pandemic.

It's good that you feel you can turn to your brothers and sisters here who share the revelation - and of course part of that revelation is the good news of life after death and the comforting teachings that we are never really alone.

I pray that the heavenly Father and all of your unseen friends make themselves known to you in the days and weeks ahead - fellowship you and help you to feel their comforting presence as you learn to adjust to the loss of your beloved.

With Love and sympathy...MaryJo

Re: My Pervasive Grief

Thu May 07, 2020 10:19 am +0000

CZINDY - Your presence here is so very welcome and appreciated!!

I am so glad you reached out and shared your current loneliness and grief. My deepest sympathies. To lose such a companion, even for a short time, and be left with such a vacuum of presence and being and belonging and striving together in partnership and love is always a trial of great suffering. It really doesn't matter that it is a temporary separation or that the graduate's suffering is ended and we will be reunited. It does matter. More and more over time to come. But not now. Now we suffer and hurt.

May the angels embrace you and guide your footsteps forward into healing and hoping and the comfort of believers in the certainty of outcomes and destiny and the re-embrace of such dear loved ones who make it to the Mansion Worlds before us.

There really are no words to offer that you do not know for yourself already. But I do also pray that you find relief and comfort in this time of need. God's embrace of love is always with us, his little and tender - but precious - children.

Couple of suggestions: There are online grief support and counseling groups available - see below for the link to my search results. Be cautious but there are some helpful and sincere and professionally monitored sites to consider and review. Also, as Rick suggests above, there are online study groups and Urantia Book classes available and one day online gatherings to enjoy - links below too! You might wish to sign up for a free ZOOM account or just download the app so you can join hosted Zoom study groups, classrooms, and event. Sign up if you want to "host" video calls with family and friends - otherwise no account is needed to just join a Zoom meeting.

https://www.bing.com/search?q=online+gr ... c19bb39867

https://zoom.us/

https://urantia-association.org/find-a-study-group/

https://urantia-association.org/associa ... ial-media/

Again...welcome and best wishes!!

Bradly 8)

Re: My Pervasive Grief

Thu May 07, 2020 12:31 pm +0000

I wanted to thank those who wrote back to me.
I will check out the links & U-Book study groups as well.
Again, I greatly Thank You!

Re: My Pervasive Grief

Tue May 19, 2020 9:47 pm +0000

https://zoom.us/j/533488677


This link is a 24 hour zoom meeting for the Urantia Book community.

I hope it helps,

Paul
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