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A place to discuss how faith experiences have changed your life.
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Worshipful and Spiritual Experiences

Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:29 pm +0000

I want to start this thread to encourage the sharing of spiritual and worshipful experiences.

I was in communion say 20min. ago at this park/school nearby my house.
The snow was still on the ground... and kneeling on the ground, through faith... I achieved a higher communion with my heavenly Father.

I had this image in my mind of going to sleep... resting... letting go of all worries. It's interesting... probably the hardest part sometimes of prayer/communion... is the beginning. Your there on your knees.... your uncomfortable... and your just waiting. Half of you wants to get up and watch T.V.... and the other half of you wants something more.... something indescribable.

If you persist... through faith... you catch a higher glimpse of His reality which is incredibly touching and satisfying.

Mon Jan 24, 2005 6:22 pm +0000

That was a truly beautiful picture you painted there Arie. The thought of you on your knees in the snow worshipping the lord, it makes me feel all warm and lovey. Thank you for sharing that very private moment with us.

I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable sometimes in a prayer/worship moment. I still catch myself trying to choose my words so carefully as to be understood or even to impress the lord. I usually pray without speaking as I feel to self consious of my own words and I usually end up sounding silly in my petitions. Sometimes mid prayer some practical thought will enter my mind and then I feel guilty like a child in class with no attention span.

I take much comfort in the fact that God knows what I'm trying to say even before I've found the words to express it.

Thank you again for starting this most inspiring thread. I don't quite know why but I suddenly feel so wonderful.

your brother

Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:53 pm +0000

My first experience with God

I remember it crystal clear. (i'm sorry for the poor English)

I was like 6 or 7 years old, and I was one of the rascals of the street in which I used to live. Always mocking at others and doing little kiddo stuff.

One day, I went to my grandmother's home for a summer vacation. In the town used to live many many siblings of mine (like 10) and we were all in the same age: 7, 6 , 8, 10 years old - I was one of the younger little kids.

One afternoon, we were playing soccer and the ball falled into the Yard of an old woman. She had a reputation of never returning the balls that fell into her yard. Yeah, the typical story.

So, of course, we felt offended. It was a real unjustice because we never wanted to throw the ball there. (Well, I'm sure it has happened to you too).

And then, we started to release our cannons. We started to scream, making fun of the lady, mocking out the way she used to dress, and of her white oldish hair. We all were laughing, celebrating our victory. We didn't recovered the ball but, at least, we made fun of her. Child attitude.

Then, the woman appeared. She was old, and looked like a 3. She looked at us and said a lot of angry words. It was like wind blowing the fire, because we started to scream at her harder and louder. \"Clown Hair\", and many many other \"funny\" names. It was a total blow of artllery.

Then, after being screaming at her home for like 2 hours and laughing our ass3s off, we returned home. Without the ball, but with a \"moral\" victory. We were sure that she felt like a piece of crap.

Then, the night came. And it was time to go to bed.

That night I couldn't sleep at all. I moved from side to side, I slept for 3 minutes and then I woke up. I just couldn't sleep...then my mind started to think.......to remember what we have done the whole day....the happy moments of the soccer time, until I reached the scene of the senior lady. Then, I started to imagine the same case, but instead of the old lady, the person was my mother. How was she going to felt with all those screams and derogatory jokes at her. It was horrible, I felt sooo bad, that you cannot imagine. I knew it was a bad thing while I was doing it, but now I saw the scene completely. It was horrible. I felt afraid for what I did (Remember I was only 6 or 7 years old, if not younger). I felt so bad, that I started to feel the tears from my eyes.

"AND THERE WAS GOD" I felt and I thought, implacable, judging me. Telling me that what I did was completely wrong. I felt like I have sinned, but I tell you, I as a kid I felt it so black, so bad. I crossed my hands and begun to ask for forgiveness, with tears falling through the face of a 6 or 7 year old child. I remeber that day I prayed for the very first time. And that day I met Him. Not the implacable GOD....but the Father that forgives his son that was truly sorry for his act. I knew, in that moment, that god was not implacable, not cold hearted. I felt his love there, that night in that bedroom!! But it was a 1 on 1 experience. It was SO personal, that I couldn't believed it. I, a little kid of 7 years old in front of a G-O-D!!! It was a tremendous thing, impossible for me to describe with words. I met him there, that moment of my repentance. I felt God. I knew God. I met GOD. It was a 180? change in my mind, from what I used to belive that was GOD, just a Judge with infinte power, to a PERSON! that Knew that I was sorry from inside for my acts that day. And I was so completely sure that I was forgiven, after that moment (like 30 minutes for me), I could sleep like a \"little Angel\".

The other day I woke up, and never told the story. I think this is like the 4th time I tell it. It was a personal experiencie between me and the Creator. Me and the Father!

I think that moment of REALITY made me never believe what my catholic spanish-monk school teached me abot God. I knew since that time that He was more alive that anyone of us!

Worshipful And Spiritual Experiences

Mon Jan 24, 2005 9:05 pm +0000

Hello Arie & jorgeurantia:

Arie that was a truly touching spiritual experience you had in the snow, very humble and very sincere, God dosen't care so much as to what we know as to how we act upon what we know :idea:

Hello jorgeurantia:

What an awesome story, that took true humility my friend :!: I appreciate your sincerity and humble spirit :wink:

I had a very physcially and verbally abusive stepfather while growing up, my natural father bascially disowned me. From the earliest of age I can remember asking \"what did I do to deserve all of this misery?\" it wasn't until 40 years later that I finally got the answer, I didn't do anything wrong, I was a child, it was the failures of my natural father and stepfather that caused so much grief in my life.

During the summer of my 6th birthday I remember being in trouble again with my stepdad, I had just received another of many harsh beatings and was in my grandmothers living room reading her giant print Bible. I was reading about God in the Old Testament, just thumbing through the chapters when the thought hit my mind-I am your father, I love you and will never forsake you :idea: It wasn't until I first read the Urantia Book nearly 40 years later that I realized that this must of been my first contact with my Thought Adjuster :shock: I heard no voice so to speak but the words were crystal clear in my mind, I knew without a doubt that my heavenly Father had just spoken to me. From that moment on I never doubted the existence of the Almighty :wink:

My goal is to someday in the long future ahead stand in front of my real father (GOD) and proably with tears in my eyes (If we can still cry when we reach Paradise) and simply say \"Thank you Father for loving me when no one else wanted too\" :wink:

Mon Jan 24, 2005 10:27 pm +0000

Thanks for sharing everyone... all very touching Mark, Jorge, and WLM.

P42:4, 2:7.3 Divine truth, final truth, is uniform and universal, but the STORY of things spiritual, as it is told by numerous individuals hailing from various spheres, may sometimes vary in details owing to this relativity in the completeness of knowledge and in the repleteness of personal experience as well as in the length and extent of that experience.

Truth is the same... for everyone, but the way we interpret these beautiful experiences will always differ though may be strikingly similar.

Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:38 pm +0000

Aloha y'all...I hear so much truth and healing here that only our loving Father can do in our lives. He surely see our pain with total compassion and has His hand on us. Ah yes, that moment of conscienceness when we as children know the difference between right and wrong and then to feel sorry for our transgressions. What a blessing...My blessed Mother had 2 pictures over my bed when she brought me home from the hospital. They were a little boy and little girl down on their knees in their jammies saying their nite time prayers. I remember lying in bed and studying those pictures and wanting to be just like those children. Holy! I emulated those poses. I never remember a time when I didn't talk and feel the presence of God. Thanks to those pictures. When I was older I liked and studied the story of the Song of Bernadette. Bernadette Soubirous and her vision of the Blessed Mother. I use to pray for a visit to my room and then peek out from the covers and afraid of what I might see. I was raised in the woods as a only child by my Great Aunt so had lots of time to think, pray and just be..and talk to my dog and hug trees when I felt lonely. Sit and listen to the sounds of the forrest and creek and wait for animals to come by and make eye contact with me. I still need quiet time to be alone with Jesus and worship God. My love of the Urantia Book is central to my life and have a fresh start each day to go about doing good. I rarely make it through a whole day without screwing up in something I said or did but know I am still in God's grace. Even with my 20yr run with Alcohol and drugs...rock 'n roll I never lost sight or that conscience contact. I love having this forum to express myself and listen and get to know you all. I am loving you all more and more...Mary...Oh and yes those pictures are still over my bed and tonight I will study them again and give thanks.

The Pilot Light

Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:39 am +0000

At an early age, I realized there was no such thing as death, and that there was something out there, but what this ìitî was I did not know. So, at around the age of fifteen, I began an intense spiritual search. I started my search studying Buddhism. I thought that esoteric practices where the way to enlightenment, and set out to find this experience for myself or perish trying. Silly as it sounds now I was that intense. After a couple experiences I quickly learned that this was not the path to enlightenment, but was left with the question as to what was. I rejected the esoteric path, the popular ìnew ageî pop-religions filled with pseudo-religious truth, and began in earnest to study comparative religion to find the answer. Of course, all along, the truth was right inside me, but how does one communion with an Absolute It, or a vague ìnon-self.î At one point I finally reached the question, ìWho is this person called Jesus?, and what did he really teach?î Of course, I had already rejected Christianity due to the absurdity of the atonement doctrine.

One day, while making my periodic search of the bookstores for the latest scholarly works, I stumbled across the Urantia Book sitting on the shelf. I read the table of contents and my first thought was it was just another work of ìnew ageî pseudo-religious pop psychology full of "I feel good, you feel good" platitudes, but then my eyes fell upon the section of the meaning of the death on the cross. I read it; I was stunned; I literally broke into tears. I purchased it and took it home to my little migrant shack I was living in at the time. I read that book all night long, and the next morning when I went to work at the local YMCA where I was teaching gymnastics, I had a revelatory experience in the steam room while meditating on what I read the following evening.

I wrote about his experience in another context saying,

At the time I was giving serious consideration of finding my way to India to find a guru, and realize God or die trying (some of this I am sure was misdirected teenage hormones and romanticism); but prior to embarking on such an adventure I discovered a unique book called The Urantia Book. It was in studying this book that the references to the indwelling divine mind I had been reading about, which in Buddhism is called the 'Buddha mind' or 'true self,' in Islam is called the spirit of Allah, in the Judeo-Christian traditions is called the indwelling spirit of God or Christ, and in the Bhagavad-Gita is termed the 'atman,' or 'inmost timeless self' which is at the same time Brahman, became personally and experientially real.

Prior to this experience I was attempting to meditate, which I was learning through the Buddhist scriptures, but not to any great success. And prior to meditating I had experimented with attempting to use my mind to achieve astral projection, but had some experiences that quickly taught me this was not an effective way to achieve spiritual growth.

At that point in my life my concept of God or Deity was of some great IT or impersonal Absolute, or some mysterious 'non-self' reflected in Zen Buddhism. I had only vague inklings of what this thing called true self might be or how I might approach finding and experiencing for myself this reality. In my studies I surely could see common threads of what I perceived to be truth running through them, but I didn't want to just intellectually knowóI wanted to experience God personally. But my dilemma was, how does one 'know' an impersonal Absolute, or realize one's 'non-self?' It was through concepts and teachings in The Urantia Book that this gulf between the idea of an Absolute and a personal God of infinitely loving and divine parental affection was bridged and synthesized into one and the same reality. Of course now I see clearly that this dual concept of the Divine is harbored in all the great traditions.

The next day I went straight to the YMCA, and while meditating in the steam room as was my habit, and reflecting on what I had learned the night before regarding the indwelling presence of the Adjuster and Jesus' Spirit of Truth, the simple truth of my faith sonship with God, and the joy of knowing salvation, for the first and only time I experienced the presence of a Light, which I cannot really describe in words. It was not a presence outside of me, but within me. Its even funny, at first when I saw this light (not with my physical eyes) I clearly remember thinking it was like staring into the sun, but only infinitely brighter. And then, not of my own doing, I was enveloped in this light, which I can only describe as the presence of the divine love of God. I don't have words to describe what transpired. I don't know how long it was, or god forbid what I looked like sitting there naked in the steam room communing with God, but when I opened my eyes I was overwhelmed with this profound sense of peace and joy, even to the point that tears were streaming down my cheeksóluckily, I was in a steam room so it was not too obvious. I went home immediately and searched the various scriptures in my library for anything referencing light, and the following two statements I found to be particularly relevant to my experience:

The Koran has a most beautiful description of what I experienced upon realizing this divine presence

(Surah 24:35):
Allah is the Light
Of the heavens and the earth.
The parable of His Light
Is as if there were a Niche
And within it a Lamp:
The Lamp enclosed in Glass;
The glass as it were
A brilliant star:
Lit from a blessed Tree,
An Olive, neither of the East
Nor of the West,
Whose Oil is well-nigh
Though fire scare touched it:
Light upon Light!

The Urantia Book says the following about Thought Adjusters, which are characterized as a divine fragment of God which indwells our mortal minds:

There is a characteristic light, a spirit luminosity, which accompanies this divine presence, and which has become generally associated with Thought Adjusters.... this Paradise luminosity is widespreadly known as the \"pilot light\"; ... it is called the \"light of life.\" ... this phenomenon has sometimes been referred to as that \"true light which lights every man who comes into the world.\" (Urantia Book 1181)

Most of the spectacular phenomena associated with so-called religious conversions are entirely psychologic in nature, but now and then there do occur experiences which are also spiritual in origin. When the mental mobilization is absolutely total on any level of the psychic upreach toward spirit attainment, when there exists perfection of the human motivation of loyalties to the divine idea, then there very often occurs a sudden down-grasp of the indwelling spirit to synchronize with the concentrated and consecrated purpose of the superconscious mind of the believing mortal. And it is such experiences of unified intellectual and spiritual phenomena that constitute the conversion which consists in factors over and above purely psychologic involvement. (Urantia Book 1099)

Over time, I have come to understand meditation to be an attempt to achieve unbroken communion with the indwelling presence of God through balanced prayer and worship, and an inner dialogue with the divine presence. I also have found in my experience that loving service brings one closer to God through actualizing divine love in our lives through wise service to one's fellows; I view them as two sides of the same coin. I understand this inner communion as my attempt to attune my mortal mind to the indwelling divine mind of God (finding, realizing, and choosing to align my will with the divine will); to realize the spiritual values of truth, beauty, and goodness, and to actualize them in my life. I think any sane and balanced practice, if it leads one to a closer relationship with God, is worthy of our attention. And I certainly will take a warm loving hug any day, and find it easy to see God in the love and compassion of others.
Last edited by Robert Reno on Tue May 10, 2005 1:44 pm +0000, edited 4 times in total.

Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:33 am +0000

As I sit here in the dark of the early morning reading this thread I am having some powerful WOW moments. Robert, your experiences are very close to mine in our search for the truth and your light experience and so beautifully stated. I had that too. Just prior to finding the UB. (over 30yrs ago) I had been hungerally seeking the Ultimate truth in all I could find. Seeking my guru when I had this profound light in my mind and an internal voice said in the most loving way...\"I AM YOUR GURU.\" I knew at once it was Jesus and felt His love and his teachings would show me the way from that day forward. I knew from others experiences that once you met your guru that you would know it and feel at home and the peace and indescribable joy. I was :shock: and :razz: because I too had left the Church years before. I wonder how many readers have had a light experience near the time the UB came into our lives. Might be an interesting poll. Not sure how to do that... Thank you Arie for starting this wonderful thread...

All of our experiences make us into what we are now. The key is our willingness and the desire for goodness and inquisitive minds want to know...Seek and ye shall find, Knock and the door shall be open...

Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:42 pm +0000

I went to bed one night, somewhere around the age of 8 or 9. The next thing i knew i was walking down a long dark space. there were no walls nor ceiling, just space. At the end was a bright light, and there were people waiting there for me. It was almost like crossing a line from total darkness to complete light.
I found myself standing in front of God. His face was as bright as the sun, but it did not hurt my eyes to look at him. I began to cry because i knew i was dead.
God asked me why I was crying and I told him I missed my mommy. That I knew I would not see her again. God asked me to come sit in his lap, and I did. He picked me up with his arms of love and held me tightly in a big hug. From the moment he touched me I was no longer sad. I was happy to be with my Heavenly Father who loved me so much. I did not fear being there and I knew that my mom, dad, brother and family would be with me soon, when it was their time to come live with us.
There were other spirits around us, happy at my being there with them. There were also other children who wanted me to go play with them. And I wanted to! I was happy and excited to be there. But God said no, he told me that it was not my time and that i had to go back. When he said that i felt the break begin, and i began to cry even harder because i didn't want to leave. Words can not describe heaven, or wherever it was that i was at. The colors, the complete joy and peace.
Yet it was not my time to live with God.
He told me that i must return, but that he promised when i was done he would bring me back to him and i would never leave again.

This was my experience sometime around the age of 8 or 9 maybe? Though it was a very powerful experience it got lost for many years in this life of hardship, and emotional pain and growth.
But it was this experience that i realized later in life kept me from giving up on God completely. It was a real experience, and that i knew to be true.

Though the experience itself did not \"give\" me my spirituality, as i still spent many years searching, from one end of the belief system to the other, i never quit. It was the promise at the end. Life hasn't been easy for me, not that it is for anyone, but my life brought me to a gun, a razor, a bottle of pills, and alcohol.

I've been ready to leave this life for as long as i can remember, but this one experience keeps me hanging on. Because i know that his promise is true, and as long as i'm alive it's because i have a reason to be. And when that time is done... i will once again feel that peace and happiness.


Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:15 pm +0000

I have really benifitted by the very real excerpts from the lives of those who posted. It has added new dimensions and appreciation for all of you.

Thank you again Arie for this wonderfull strand.
Brother Tramp Swan, I don't understand why you would have deleted yours. I felt priviledged to have been able to read such intimate details about what makes you the person you are.

Thank you everyone for sharing.

love and brotherhood

The Heroin Addict

Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:36 am +0000

I'm resurrecting this thread... it's way too powertful to let it die.

I want to share an experience I had with an old family member when I believe I was 18. My past brother just got back from D.C. probably trying to score some dope... most likely heroin.

When he got back with my housekeeper... a window in the family van was broken. I believe one of the dealers threw it at them... fortunately not hitting them. He must of talked her into taking him into the District... he can be a very clever person when he wants to. He even tricked me into taking him into D.C. a few times.

Anyways... after they got back... he was lying down on the couch in the basement. I may of come from upstairs... I'm not sure... but I approached him standing... I feel like I tried to encourage him mixed with warnings... I knew he was falling... and quickly.

After this... I went back upstairs... and sat on the couch while playing a guitar a little.

After a few moments... I realized he was watching the movie 'Natural Born
Killers\" which he rented... he must of put it in right after my warnings.

Then he began shouting at the television approving of the killings with much cursing. He then started to come upstairs. I'm not sure if I heard him coming up... but I may have. After he turned the corner and entered the living room where I was... I knew he had some murderous intentions.

I believe he had his right hand in his pocket... and to this day I'm still not sure exactly what it was he had. Maybe a knife... or a screwdriver... I don't know.

Right after he entered the room... he said \"I don't want to do this man.\"

After this sudden expression... fear swarmed my body... and I said \"I love you\" and he said so back...and suddenly the energy changed. He let it go and sat down near me. Fear still embracing my body... he took the guitar out of my lap and wanted to teach me the guitar like nothing happened.

Looking back... perhaps I knew on some deep level that saying 'I love you' was the only thing to say to stay alive. If I didn't... who knows what would of happened.

I believe the terror struck me was because he got me completely off-balance... I did not think he had the capacity to kill. Now I know differently. Perhaps I was just too naive at that point.

The terror also probably got me was because I was sitting in a vulnerable position while he was standing next to me. It's sad really... but it happened... and it's one of those distinct spiritual experiences that I won't forget. The next one will be happier. Take care.

Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:30 pm +0000

Wow, Not sure how to reply to that story. Glad you're still here. I guess that's bout all that could be said.

I have found though the more my spirit grows in light, the more sensitive i am to those with darker spirits. ( if that's how i should put it).

I've always had it., but i've learned to trust it more and more. People may not always show on the outside who they are within. It's not a judgement, not on my part anyways. People who are weak within themselves can be manipulated by evil spirits. I know when i'm safe, and when i'm not.

I hope your brother is out of his darkness as well. It is a dreadful place to be.


Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:14 pm +0000

Yeah... I know what your saying... about sensing darkness... perhaps it is the spirit of intuition.

I knew from the very first day he got out of jail that there would be trouble between me and him. No one believed me however... but it's okay... we can learn even from enemies huh?

Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:49 pm +0000

We can learn from any life experience.

To refer to your brother as an enemy seems harsh, I know it sounds weird given the circumstances, but i don't know. I've been hurt by so many, many of my family also.

I would rather look at it as \"weak spirits\". Take away the drugs, and life influences that brought him to that point, he wasn't a true enemy. A true enemy wouldn't have stopped.

Just my feeling on the subject. I'm not you, and i wasn't there. So it's your decision how to react. So don't think i'm judging or anything.

I've been around alot of people. People of different levels spiritually, mentally, etc..... but i do have one person in this life i would consider a true enemy. He's actually my biological father. So, like i said, not judging here. I would just hope your brother wouldn't truely hate you as my father does me.

I hope to see him with compassion before i leave this life. But i'm just not sure if i ever could. I guess i do, i hate that his life has left him with so much pain. But my sympathy would stop the minute he was within sight and i would see him as an enemy.

He's the only person i've left to forgive in my life. I wouldn't condemn him to everlasting torment, but i'm fine to let judgement fall where it should.

It's a sad thing that some of our most painful life experiences come from within our own family. But maybe that's cause we love them so much.

Just my thoughts, :roll: nothing of much importance.

Anyone who has a \"happy\" story feel free to share. Arie and I seem to have found a \"not so happy\" spiritual moment.

I pray you are surrounded by love now Arie.

Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:02 pm +0000

Yeah... maybe not an enemy... but I definitely don't consider him my brother. You haven't heard the whole story between him and me... and I hesitate to get further into it right now.

Let me share a happier experience to hopefully lift the spirit of this thread. :o

I remember one time I was calling random people over the telephone... it can be fun... try it one day... and I came across this young spanish girl... probably about 5 or 6 years old. Anyways... she was the cutest little girl. She didn't speak much English... so I started to try to speak spanish with her. She even started to teach me a few words which I thought was really cute. I feel the world would be a much better place if more of us were willing to learn from children.

Have fun.

PS- Thanks for the prayer Angel. :wink:
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