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 Post subject: What happened to me?
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One early evening when I was about 9 years old or so I was standing at the end of our driveway viewing a quite spactacular sunset, with absolutely nothing on my mind.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere a tremendous experience came over me like nothing I'd ever felt before, or since. I was no longer in myself, but in everything there is, and the feeling that came over me was an overpowering awe as I felt myself part of all that was and alive in all of it. I was not even aware of my own body at this point.

I was just a little girl at the time, about 9 years old, and not at all prepared for this experience. It began to frighten me, and so I tried to get away from it by walking back to the house and going inside, but it still took some minutes to fully disapate.

All my life since then I have wondered what that was that happened to me, and regretted that I had been frightened by it. I've so very much wanted that experience back again, but have never had a clue as to how to get it back.

Has anyone else here had such an experience? Anyone have a clue as to what it was?

a.


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Hi Amy,

I would venture to say it was a momentary loss of ego, allowing you to feel part of the whole. We are given this body, this material paradigm, this architectural sphere in which to live and function, but a glimpse of the bigger picture is sometimes gifted to us. In my opinion, you received a gift of a view of transcended time and space, as a means of revealing to you the omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence of Deity, which is at once alluring and awesome. You'll be spending all of eternity working your way back to that place of oneness.

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Gerdean O'Dell
Author: "Secrets of Promise"


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Hi Amy -- it was one of those blessing that occur only now and then in a lifetime -- much like a transfiguring dream. Rejoice and be glad in it.
Larry


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Gerdean wrote:
Hi Amy,
You'll be spending all of eternity working your way back to that place of oneness.


Arrrgggghhhh!

That's not encouraging! It happened once, and quite effortlessly at that, there HAS to be a way to make it happen again! There at least must be some way to know what it was!

Oneness is a good description of it, but it was a lot more than just that. I have not the words for it all, and my description of the experience is quite inadequate as language totally fails me in this.

Perhaps you are right in that I was gifted with this experience, but why? To what end? What did it mean?

enquiring minds....

a.


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 p999:9  91:6.6 Prayer has been an indispensable factor in the progress and preservation of religious civilization, and it still has mighty contributions to make to the further enhancement and spiritualization of society if those who pray will only do so in the light of scientific facts, philosophic wisdom, intellectual sincerity, and spiritual faith. Pray as Jesus taught his disciples—honestly, unselfishly, with fairness, and without doubting.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:41 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Hey Amy:

Wow! How cool… I’ve never allowed (or been given) anything like that to happen to me. You’re really lucky.
Al :mrgreen:


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Iris wrote:
Hi Amy,

I've had the experience and you cannot MAKE it happen. That's why it's called a gift.

It's about giving up control to the MAKER.

And welcome.


Well, (sigh) I suspected as much. I've never yet been able to have that experience again, and I suppose part of the reason I want it back so badly is that I regret so much having been frightened by it, rather than just letting it happen and exploring it. Now that I'm older I feel I could benefit far more from such an experience, but alas, I've not had it again.

I still have to wonder, why it happened, and why it happened then, when I was just a little girl and in no way prepared for it, or able to deal with it. It has to have a meaning and a purpose that transcends those considerations.

I'd like to discuss this with you more if you are willing.

a.


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alwilliams767 wrote:
Hey Amy:

Wow! How cool… I’ve never allowed (or been given) anything like that to happen to me. You’re really lucky.
Al :mrgreen:


Hi Al,

You are right, I was very lucky to have had this experience, albeit, I've not since been lucky enough to have it again. I can only hope it will happen again in this life. I've heard of others having it also, among them astronaut Edgar Mitchell, and Sigmund Freud. No doubt many lesser known people have also had this experience, as have I and the above respondent Iris. Perhaps the only way I can explore it is to compare notes with others who have had it.

a.


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p1140:5 103:8.5 The certainty of the God-knowing religionist should not be disturbed by the uncertainty of the doubting materialist; rather should the uncertainty of the unbeliever be mightily challenged by the profound faith and unshakable certainty of the experiential believer.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:46 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Iris wrote:
Sure Amy, glad to oblige.

Your need to intellectualize a spiritual experience is a human response. You can't understand what is not understandable.


In fact I feel no need to "intellectualize" the experience at all. I'm afraid you are reading that in.

I want it back so I can feel it and explore it far more than I was able to as a little girl of 9 years old. I fully recognize that it is not at all an experience that can be, "intellectualized."

It is quite abundantly clear to me that it was spiritual in nature, and far far beyond my meager mortal ability to analyze. To have that experience again at this age would not frighten me as it did then, and I could more fully give myself to it, trust it, and explore it. I could feel and taste the meaning of it much more fully now than I could then.

As I said earlier I very much regret having been frightened by it, but I was only 9 years old. I was not at all ready for it, nor able to deal with it. I feel I could gain so much more from it now at 54 years of age.

That said, I am quite sure there was a very good reason that it happened to me when it did. I just cannot know what it was.

a.


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Iris wrote:

It was a morontia event you experienced and for the most part, these events are unconscious. Your mind was probably pure enough at that moment to receive the event into consciousness. You can increase the likelihood of experiencing morontia now by simplifying your consciousness back to that trusting, innocent pure childlike state. But to think that you can control this is probably not a good idea. What you can control is your behavior, your attitude and your intention.


Ah! Now this makes very good sense to me! In fact that's been my thinking on the subject ever since it happened.

It may explain something to you that when this happened to me I was growing up in a horribly dysfunctional, violent, twisted, and emeshed home, with parents who abandoned me in every conceivable way, and a step-father who hospitalized me four times, as well as sent me to the emergency room on numerous other occasions.

My mother, who can only be called that because she just happened to be present during gestation, didn't like children at all, which begs the question of why she bothered to have 7 of us. We were always getting in the way of her fun and she resented us all for it.

To her, when she had to take me to the emergency room, I was the whole problem, and she would glare angrily at me in the rear-view mirror as she drove. The step-father who beat me up all the time hated me and my siblings from her first marriage and bitterly resented us because he was obligated by marriage to care for us.

This was the context in which I had this experience. What puzzles me is that at this point in my life I could trust nothing at all. I could be beaten unconscious at any moment, and often was.

Perhaps it has some bearing on why it happened to me when it did.

I am really the only one of the seven children in that family who came out of it all with a whole mind and able to deal with life while still having a spiritual life. This despite having been the focus and target of all of the violence of my step-father. One of my younger sisters is schizophrenic and quite unable to deal with life at all.

My older brother withdrew into himself and has never yet come back out. My step-father's three children where also damaged in that family, despite having been favored over the rest of us in manifold ways, or perhaps because of it. Their lives have been tragic examples of the damage done to children in such a family.

My childhood is not a place I like to visit, but I feel I can talk about it here.

a.


Last edited by Amy on Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:53 pm +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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 p1460:1  132:3.8 Spiritual evolution is an experience of the increasing and voluntary choice of goodness attended by an equal and progressive diminution of the possibility of evil. With the attainment of finality of choice for goodness and of completed capacity for truth appreciation, there comes into existence a perfection of beauty and holiness whose righteousness eternally inhibits the possibility of the emergence of even the concept of potential evil. Such a God-knowing soul casts no shadow of doubting evil when functioning on such a high spirit level of divine goodness.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:47 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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read post above.


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p1520:4 136:8.3 Throughout all this momentous dialogue of Jesus' communing with himself, there was present the human element of questioning and near-doubting, for Jesus was man as well as God. It was evident he would never be received by the Jews as the Messiah if he did not work wonders. Besides, if he would consent to do just one unnatural thing, the human mind would know of a certainty that it was in subservience to a truly divine mind. Would it be consistent with "the Father's will" for the divine mind to make this concession to the doubting nature of the human mind? Jesus decided that it would not and cited the presence of the Personalized Adjuster as sufficient proof of divinity in partnership with humanity.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:48 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Iris wrote:
Yeah, I think our posts crossed in the wire.

sounds like you were blessed at a time that was just right.


I would tend to agree with you there Iris.

If nothing else the experience that came over me that day, the very largest experience of my life, gave me something to hold onto, and a reason to believe in something larger than myself, and beyond the horror I was growing up in.

It was a brief glimpse of eternity, but it was enough. I have never since stopped seeking for truth, final, absolute, and certain truth.

I knew for certain that I was not the problem. I KNEW that the adults in my life who had control over my life WERE the problem. I did not internalize guilt about it and blame myself for what was going on in that family, I knew it was my parents who were the whole problem. Most who grow up as I did are either dead or in prison.

Most never get it that they were innocent victims of it, that they were not to blame. Perhaps it was the Spirit of Truth that acted upon me that day. I don't know, but I do know that I came out of it all with a whole mind, and I have a spiritual life, a relationship with the Father in Heaven.

The rest of my siblings did not fare so well.

a.


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