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p1562:4  139:8.10 Thomas had some very bad days; he was blue and downcast at times. The loss of his twin sister when he was nine years old had occasioned him much youthful sorrow and had added to his temperamental problems of later life. When Thomas would become despondent, sometimes it was Nathaniel who helped him to recover, sometimes Peter, and not infrequently one of the Alpheus twins. When he was most depressed, unfortunately he always tried to avoid coming in direct contact with Jesus. But the Master knew all about this and had an understanding sympathy for his apostle when he was thus afflicted with depression and harassed by doubts.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:50 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Iris,

I had no inkling at all at the time of Jesus. There was no religion at all in my family at the time. Later I was encouraged to participate in a local church, but all that was taught me there was an utter mystery to me, and made no sense to me at all.

I went along with it, but didn't really believe what they taught, because it had nothing at all to do with my life experience. I just could not connect with it in any real way.

At this point in my life I find myself isolated and alone. The Urantia Book is all I have of reality. I've never had more than one close friend at a time in this life, and I've not had one of those in years. Those I've had have abandoned me.

All I have at this time is my dog. He is special to me, given me by the Father. I suppose that sounds pretty bizzare, but that's how it is. It's a long story.

I have what I suppose could be called "friends" at work, but not really friends. I get on with them well socially, but I can't talk to them about the Urantia Book. I've tried, and it just doesn't go over. Their eyes glaze over and they check out on me.

They seem to assign religion to a Sunday ritual and leave it there, and anything beyond that is rejected. If I pursue it beyond that point I'm a kook of some kind. This in the so-called "Bible Belt."

I see such people as secularists and hypocrites. I need real spiritual fellowship, and I'm not finding it.

a.


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There's nothing wrong with having a dog as one's best friend -- friends don't come much more loving and loyal and fun and companionable and intuitive than a good dog. Once again you're blessed.
Larry


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lwatkins wrote:
There's nothing wrong with having a dog as one's best friend -- friends don't come much more loving and loyal and fun and companionable and intuitive than a good dog. Once again you're blessed.
Larry


I won't argue that Larry, not at all. Buddy, my big sweet doggie, has never conned me, ripped me off, lied to me, or used me. And he never will. It's such a lift to come home from work and be greeted by this beautiful friend who is always so happy that Mom is home. I think of him as my kid. Caring for him is so good for me, and he knows he's loved.

Buddy is all about sharing his love with the world, and you couldn't ask for a friendlier dog, or a more beautiful one. People just adore him, want to take pictures of him and pet him. He draws a lot of attention everywhere we go. Many have told me he's the most beautiful dog they have ever seen.

I pretty much just live in his shadow :)


a.


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You are destined to live a narrow and mean life if you learn to love only those who love you. Human love may indeed be reciprocal, but divine love is outgoing in all its satisfaction-seeking. The less of love in any creature's nature, the greater the love need, and the more does divine love seek to satisfy such need. Love is never self-seeking, and it cannot be self-bestowed. Divine love cannot be self-contained; it must be unselfishly bestowed.1739:06


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:51 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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rehi Iris,

My condolences on the loss of your dear friend. I know how I would feel if I lost Buddy, I would be devastated. Fortunately he is still young and in great health. In fact he is a four legged locomotive and a very powerful animal. At times I can just barely control him, especially when he gets on a scent he finds interesting, or wants to chase some small critter.

Max's qualities are shared by Buddy, not surprisingly. There is so much to admire in our canine friends.

Regarding friends in general, yes, you are totally right, we are going to be very very alone if we only love those who love us. This is something I am working on of late. Trying to understand those who work with me, and to know their real motives in life.

The more one understands another the more one comes to love them, and so I am undertaking to understand as much as possible even those at work who irritate me. One in particular, a man who works in the produce section of the store where I work is a challenge.

He wanted to come over to my place to use my computer to burn CD's, and while here began going on about his desperate sexual needs, quite inappropriately. I told him that this was a little more information than I needed, and did my best to let it pass.

He's young, and just broke off with his girlfriend, and I do understand that situation, and that people often deal with it in quite imperfect ways. Still I see things in this young man that are good and commendable. He can be very arrogant, and egotistical, but at the same time he has shown me respect upon occasion, and seems to have a strong work ethic. I think he uses that arrogant bluster to compensate for deep insecurities, and I have a certain sympathy for that.

He's struggling, as are we all. He has his personal challenges as we all do. I see others at work struggling too, and they are people I value quite a lot. One reason I stay there is that I like the people I work with a lot, even those who at times irritate me and even drive me up a wall. There is not one of them I would not help if asked to the limit of my capacity, which, regrettably, isn't much at this time.

We are all poor and not making enough to get by on. Having this in common together does a lot to unify us and cement friendships. I really do wish, however, that I could enjoy those friendships outside of work, but getting any of them to visit me has not been easy. Nor has it been easy to visit them as they are busied out with their lives.

One woman at work who I particularly care for came over one day to visit with me, and asked me if it would be alright to smoke her crack cocaine here. I told her I would really rather she didn't. I was very disappointed that she is using that drug, and while she respected my wishes she has not visited me again.

I guess another thing that makes it difficult to enjoy my friends from work outside of work is that they all have mates and families, and this busies them with their home life to the point that they don't have much time for anything outside their home.

This is a good part of the reason I got an internet connection that I really can't afford, it's a way to reach out and contact others that I wouldn't otherwise have, and particularly other Urantia Book readers. I'm very thankful that I can do this now. I just hope I can keep my internet connection going.

Hey, what breed was Max?

a.


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 p1601:3  142:5.3 "The Supreme Spirit shall bear witness with your spirits that you are truly the children of God. And if you are the sons of God, then have you been born of the spirit of God; and whosoever has been born of the spirit has in himself the power to overcome all doubt, and this is the victory that overcomes all uncertainty, even your faith.


Last edited by Bonita on Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:55 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Iris wrote:
Max was a cross between a black lab and some kind of terrier.


I think we begin our spiritual career by being first friends with God and then with our brothers and sisters. Once you are secure in your relationship with God, it is easy to branch out and be spontaneously generous and sincerely friendly to others.

On the other hand, there are those who bend over backwards to be helpers and love to show the world how tolerant they are by befriending everyone, especially those who belong to what the world sees as a needy and worthwhile cause.

One method is based on a deep devotion to God and his universe family, the other appears to be from the same source, but is really superficial, sentimental sanctimony. The difficulty is in knowing the difference.


Hi Iris,

I am very well acquainted with those who make a public show of their works and I have no difficulty in recognizing them for what they are. Likewise I am able to discern between them and those who do good out of a sincere devotion to the will of the Father and a genuine love of and concern for their fellows.

I've had quite extensive experience in this, much of it quite unhappy.

Black lab and terrier mix is a good doggie :)

My dear Buddy is a giant Alaskan Malamute of the M'lute bloodline. These are the heavy freight dogs used on expeditions. He is 122 lbs. of pure stubborn and willful mind-of-his-own. He loves me, and I love him back, caring for him as I would a child of my own. He is the closest thing to a child of my own I will have in this life. I believe that is why the Father brought us together, which I am fully convinced is why we met.

It was a rescue on the spur of the moment when we both needed each other in the most urgent of ways. I snatched him from the jaws of Animal Control in Butte County CA and we made our getaway passing them on the way out as we were leaving having wrestled him into my truck at tremendous effort, knowing he was to be taken away and most likely put down. I could not allow that after one look into his big beautiful yellow eyes.

Malamutes are not at all for just anyone. It's a rare dog person who can deal with them at all. I am quite sure I ended up with Buddy because someone else just could not handle him. We were beautifully matched as it turned out. Malamutes are pack animals, with strong predatory instincts and very powerful animals with a mind of their own. They do NOT live to please you. You either become the alpha pack member or he will.

They do not take orders.

No one owns a Malamute, they consent to live with you. Other dogs have masters, Malamutes have staff, or a leader. The trick is to become the leader. This may involve toothy challenges to your pack status. You'd best be able to deal with them.

a.


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I personally experience a very deep religious experience when I listen to Samuel Osborne Barber - Adagio For Strings and look at a huge data picture I have of Earth, my trivial personal struggles become so meaningless when you see the entire Earth reflect in your eyes. I have heard astronauts experience a similar experience. O:)

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Absit iniuiria verbis (20 yo, male, student of everything)


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I've had two occassions experiencing something which was spiritually enlightening, and perhaps seeds for further consideration at a mature age. The first, ironically, in first grade (9 years old, too!) when our family cat passed away. I was on the school bus in our neighborhood anticipating seeing our kitty who had been sick (and as far as I knew was home and well), when a voice told me that my cat had died. This voice was a male voice, and so kind and soothing and comforting. I was, of course, dishearted and distressed that our family cat had died, but I KNEW before I walked into the house, before my Mum had to set about the difficult task of telling me he'd gone. I'd completly forgotten about that until recently. And having read the UB, I am quite convinced that it truly did happen and a loving entitiy (whether it was my TA, or my assigned seraphim) informed me of some important occurance in my young life. Still don't know why the death of a cat was the impetus for communication - and perhaps I'll never know, but - does it matter that I don't know?

The second occurred at age 29. Won't bore with details, but - I think that when we open our hearts to craving and wanting to know Truth and to a certain extent answers provided in a context for our human understanding, we are provided with these glorious experiences to help further our desire to know God, and to, well - get stoked about our everlasting lives!

:smile:


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Sis. Amy,

I had mine when i was about your age too, while i was alone in the midle of our padi field, in Sarawak. So much so that tears streamed down my cheek and my body shivered. I could not understand myself; why in this very tender age that i yearn and felt so strongly to know and that truth about God to be shown to me.

Then in my mid-life, i had another while facing my religious and faith crisis. I was trying to figure out which is the true church, or religion if any on earth today. There seemed to be so much contradictions and conflict brought about by religions. I was born a former Saventh Day Adventish.To find the truth,I tried myself with Hindism, read about Budhism, Bahai, trying SIB, Catholic, New Age, filled myself with the NDE (the life after death stuffs) material and decidedly to became a muslim (being livng in a muslim governed land) That is when another one happened. I cancelled my intention.

This is my exact prayer for truth."......pls. Father, show me the way to the truth; and if there are truths today on earth, i want to know and be in it. Amen".

I then was inpsired to joined a protestant denomination. For ten years now, i am very happy and blessed in my life. I still search and pray for truth to be shown to me. I still had mnay qusetions and skeptical of some of the church teaching. Then my prayer was answered with the findng of TUB.

Know what, there contained within this church teaching , the NDE and TUB the same similar things; in diffrent lights.

Am very greatful, therefore i have learn that in the quest for truth, i do not want to limit myself.
Have we ever wonder why TUB never sided with any specific religion of the world? Did Jesus specifically instruct his Apostles to built a church/ his church or to preach his teaching to all mankind? Never this meant to blame religions for they are good, but blame the abusers and missusers.


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Hi Amy,

Everything that has been mentioned in these replies to your question,"What happened to me?" are wonderful fellow experiences shared so you gain confidence with your Inner Kingdom self.

From my point of view, you have JUST BEGUN the exciting and never boring experiences with our Gods heavenly family. As these manifestations are more comfortable to you the progress of your spiritual path will become more open .

This experience, a manifestation from the heavens, is based on the Urantia Books directions as Jesus lived . The instant and sincere state of being. The God Within Voice(Or the heavens contact) takes place in the instant and is to be interpreted just as that. As you c an see in your original post, emotions-re:fear kinda took hold, also the want to kinda control, and other human thoughts do enter into the instant original 'voice'(manifestation). As you gain confidence in your careful and honest interpretations you will grow, your path will widen and your steps will be much more comfortable. Already you are walking along with many fellow humans judging from all the responses.

Happy travels, life is here for the living. Love is the intent to be of service. Thanks for your question!

Carl M

The angels asked me to only teach that which I have experienced. If this is true for you(UB calls this experiencial living) also, just think of this experience as a class in first contacts. You have obviously passed this real teaching info with flying colors, you even talk about it and share with great enthusiasm. Love.


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I certainly hope Amy hasn't given up on all of us and still drops by to sample this site.

Thank you Carl, for your contribution to her question...I agree 100%.

Peace
Jo

Amy, if you're listening, Iris evidently re-thought what she wrote to you and deleted her posts and inserted random UB quotes. Hopefully you will give her, and us, another chance.
Peace to your heart~~~~

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No longer can man presume to monopolize the ministry of religious service. ...among the followers of Jesus woman has been forever set free from all religious discriminations based on gender. TUB pg 2065 (194:3.14)


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My take on that, is that you experienced a moment of lucidity; A momentary break in ordinary conciousness as it were.
Most of the time we are talking to ourselves, AND the mind is hardly at rest, and the period when the mind is not describing anything
we are not aware of what our identity is or who we are. We have, as it were, something like a guard that keeps us busy all the time and doesn't break, even when we sleep. So we are helpless to keep thinking, and thinking muddles up all awareness but mostly self-awareness.
.
That used to happen to me when I was in my early teens. Maybe three times. I know how you feel about it. It's like the most indescribable thing that can happen, and it's sort of like a break in concioussness, and in between one thought and another.

Were we to stay there, we would lose ability to communicate with others and even with ourselves. You'd be in a trance amazed without words that could describe that, and no interest to communicate with anyone.

This state or absence or "state" is the reality that is beyond comprehention because life is wordless and boundless, so the bound
state where we live most of the time is a fake reality, only an impostor.
What you consider to be "yourself" is not even remotely yourself.
I would venture to say that what you are is perfect, glorious, infinite, beyond, amazing, silent, and gloriously divine.
We are in essence like the divine source, how can we be another?

However we may not yet be ready to live in a that glorious state.

The real question is : why are we in this dark state of deep ignorance ruled by the traps of the ego, full of desire, hate, fear, ambition, pride,arrogance? This is not what we are, but we seem to be driven by unseen forces, and the main force is the mind, and mind is thought, and thought is illusion, and illusion is the ego and ego is what prevents us from growing in the right direction.


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One early evening when I was about 9 years old or so I was standing at the end of our driveway viewing a quite spactacular sunset, with absolutely nothing on my mind.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere a tremendous experience came over me like nothing I'd ever felt before, or since. I was no longer in myself, but in everything there is, and the feeling that came over me was an overpowering awe as I felt myself part of all that was and alive in all of it. I was not even aware of my own body at this point.

I was just a little girl at the time, about 9 years old, and not at all prepared for this experience. It began to frighten me, and so I tried to get away from it by walking back to the house and going inside, but it still took some minutes to fully disapate.

All my life since then I have wondered what that was that happened to me, and regretted that I had been frightened by it. I've so very much wanted that experience back again, but have never had a clue as to how to get it back.

Has anyone else here had such an experience? Anyone have a clue as to what it was?


URANO wrote:
My take on that, is that you experienced a moment of lucidity; A momentary break in ordinary conciousness as it were.
Most of the time we are talking to ourselves, AND the mind is hardly at rest, and the period when the mind is not describing anything
we are not aware of what our identity is or who we are. We have, as it were, something like a guard that keeps us busy all the time and doesn't break, even when we sleep. So we are helpless to keep thinking, and thinking muddles up all awareness but mostly self-awareness.
.
That used to happen to me when I was in my early teens. Maybe three times. I know how you feel about it. It's like the most indescribable thing that can happen, and it's sort of like a break in concioussness, and in between one thought and another.

Were we to stay there, we would lose ability to communicate with others and even with ourselves. You'd be in a trance amazed without words that could describe that, and no interest to communicate with anyone.

This state or absence or "state" is the reality that is beyond comprehention because life is wordless and boundless, so the bound
state where we live most of the time is a fake reality, only an impostor.
What you consider to be "yourself" is not even remotely yourself.
I would venture to say that what you are is perfect, glorious, infinite, beyond, amazing, silent, and gloriously divine.
We are in essence like the divine source, how can we be another?

However we may not yet be ready to live in a that glorious state.

The real question is : why are we in this dark state of deep ignorance ruled by the traps of the ego, full of desire, hate, fear, ambition, pride,arrogance? This is not what we are, but we seem to be driven by unseen forces, and the main force is the mind, and mind is thought, and thought is illusion, and illusion is the ego and ego is what prevents us from growing in the right direction.


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