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 Post subject: Mind Problems
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 5:55 pm +0000
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Hi-

My name's Rick and I have been reading the UB for around three months. I just joined the forums here yesterday.

I am going to take a leap of faith and spill my guts about a severe problem that I have. I have a deep fear of my fellow man. Social anxiety is the name given to my problem. I take a few medications and I see a therapist regularly. The medicine does not help with the problem but therapy is good for anyone, I think, as long as you have the right therapist for you. I have made a few strides on my own by sheer will by taking myself out of my comfort zones and testing the waters, like I am doing here. The process is slow.

I am lucky that I have a good family life. I have three good kids and an amazing wife. They are the only reason I am here today. I am ashamed to say that I have been on disability for ten years now because of my problem. It's all about fear and racing negative thoughts of the future in any way, shape or form. It can really get to be maddening sometimes.

I have lead a life of spiritual seeking which has finally led me to the UB. I had known of the title for more than a decade but never looked into it until now. I began to read the book from the forward on in order. After reading the first 10-20 papers, I switched to the story of Jesus, which I am still reading. I am learning much from reading the book and reading the forums here and other places. I have written down many quotes from some of you. There are a lot of great minds here.

So this is it: In my life of much negativity and fear, I am trying to learn how to live the kind of life God wants me to. I pray and worship to the best of my ability. I feel somewhat happy with my relationship to God, even though I am sure it could be much deeper. My problem is with the brotherhood. I look within myself and at my fears and isolation and I notice that I can't make myself become of service to my brethren; I can barely even get out of the house to meet others. I know that I have to do this. It is BIG and it is the hole in my life that keeps me back, isolated.

I have read that the religion of Jesus is salvation from self; deliverance from the evils of creature isolation in time and eternity ~Fear blocks all forms of progressing education ~The ideal life is one of loving service rather than an existence of fearful apprehension ~ The greatest work we have in this life is learning how to get the self out of the way and to grow in the ability to feel the presence of God ~ You are destined to live a narrow and mean life if you learn to love only those who love you.

I am asking anyone if they can show me places in the UB that can help me understand how to get out of myself. I would love to just let God take me over and run the show. How do you finally beat fear? Any help from the UB or your own experiences would be greatly appreciated!

Rick


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 5:02 am +0000
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Hello Rick,

Glad to make your acquaintance.

It has occurred to me more than a few times that deciding to live as God intends first, is what sometimes results in the discovery of what the Urantia Book says later.

I'm certain you'll find the following encouraging:

130:6.1 (1437.1) While they were up in the mountains, Jesus had a long talk with a young man who was fearful and downcast. Failing to derive comfort and courage from association with his fellows, this youth had sought the solitude of the hills; he had grown up with a feeling of helplessness and inferiority. These natural tendencies had been augmented by numerous difficult circumstances which the lad had encountered as he grew up, notably, the loss of his father when he was twelve years of age. As they met, Jesus said: “Greetings, my friend! why so downcast on such a beautiful day? If something has happened to distress you, perhaps I can in some manner assist you. At any rate it affords me real pleasure to proffer my services.”

130:6.2 (1437.2) The young man was disinclined to talk, and so Jesus made a second approach to his soul, saying: “I understand you come up in these hills to get away from folks; so, of course, you do not want to talk with me, but I would like to know whether you are familiar with these hills; do you know the direction of the trails? and, perchance, could you inform me as to the best route to Phenix?” Now this youth was very familiar with these mountains, and he really became much interested in telling Jesus the way to Phenix, so much so that he marked out all the trails on the ground and fully explained every detail. But he was startled and made curious when Jesus, after saying good-bye and making as if he were taking leave, suddenly turned to him, saying: “I well know you wish to be left alone with your disconsolation; but it would be neither kind nor fair for me to receive such generous help from you as to how best to find my way to Phenix and then unthinkingly to go away from you without making the least effort to answer your appealing request for help and guidance regarding the best route to the goal of destiny which you seek in your heart while you tarry here on the mountainside. As you so well know the trails to Phenix, having traversed them many times, so do I well know the way to the city of your disappointed hopes and thwarted ambitions. And since you have asked me for help, I will not disappoint you.” The youth was almost overcome, but he managed to stammer out, “But — I did not ask you for anything — ” And Jesus, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, said: “No, son, not with words but with longing looks did you appeal to my heart. My boy, to one who loves his fellows there is an eloquent appeal for help in your countenance of discouragement and despair. Sit down with me while I tell you of the service trails and happiness highways which lead from the sorrows of self to the joys of loving activities in the brotherhood of men and in the service of the God of heaven.”

130:6.3 (1437.3) By this time the young man very much desired to talk with Jesus, and he knelt at his feet imploring Jesus to help him, to show him the way of escape from his world of personal sorrow and defeat. Said Jesus: “My friend, arise! Stand up like a man! You may be surrounded with small enemies and be retarded by many obstacles, but the big things and the real things of this world and the universe are on your side. The sun rises every morning to salute you just as it does the most powerful and prosperous man on earth. Look — you have a strong body and powerful muscles — your physical equipment is better than the average. Of course, it is just about useless while you sit out here on the mountainside and grieve over your misfortunes, real and fancied. But you could do great things with your body if you would hasten off to where great things are waiting to be done. You are trying to run away from your unhappy self, but it cannot be done. You and your problems of living are real; you cannot escape them as long as you live. But look again, your mind is clear and capable. Your strong body has an intelligent mind to direct it. Set your mind at work to solve its problems; teach your intellect to work for you; refuse longer to be dominated by fear like an unthinking animal. Your mind should be your courageous ally in the solution of your life problems rather than your being, as you have been, its abject fear-slave and the bond servant of depression and defeat. But most valuable of all, your potential of real achievement is the spirit which lives within you, and which will stimulate and inspire your mind to control itself and activate the body if you will release it from the fetters of fear and thus enable your spiritual nature to begin your deliverance from the evils of inaction by the power-presence of living faith. And then, forthwith, will this faith vanquish fear of men by the compelling presence of that new and all-dominating love of your fellows which will so soon fill your soul to overflowing because of the consciousness which has been born in your heart that you are a child of God. *

130:6.4 (1438.1) “This day, my son, you are to be reborn, re-established as a man of faith, courage, and devoted service to man, for God’s sake. And when you become so readjusted to life within yourself, you become likewise readjusted to the universe; you have been born again — born of the spirit — and henceforth will your whole life become one of victorious accomplishment. Trouble will invigorate you; disappointment will spur you on; difficulties will challenge you; and obstacles will stimulate you. Arise, young man! Say farewell to the life of cringing fear and fleeing cowardice. Hasten back to duty and live your life in the flesh as a son of God, a mortal dedicated to the ennobling service of man on earth and destined to the superb and eternal service of God in eternity.”

130:6.5 (1438.2) And this youth, Fortune, subsequently became the leader of the Christians in Crete and the close associate of Titus in his labors for the uplift of the Cretan believers.


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2003 10:09 pm +0000
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Hello Rick,

Working to improve issues of trusting others more can truly be daunting. Others are, after all, human and fickle and always will be. A never failing attitude that always helps is to keep Jesus to the forefront of your mind. He told us to fear not. Trust Jesus and your trust will be repaid many times over, more than trust in others can ever provide.

Best wishes,
Larry


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:29 am +0000
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Welcome Rick!

I hope this place and community can help you discover the power of knowledge combined with faith. For while faith in God will always trump knowledge about God, nonetheless, the Urantia Papers can deliver an understanding and perspective of the grand cosmos and our place in it. Why are we here? What's next? How can we approach God and fulfill our destiny? What's most important for spiritual progress? What are the obstacles and mind poisons which frustrate such progress? Why is uncertainty a good thing? How can disappointment and failure actually accelerate progress? Why do bad things happen? How can I make the world a better place?

God will never be in charge of our life. His gift of free will puts each of us in charge and it is by our motives, priorities, intentions, decisions, and choices that we get closer and closer to God and more and more spiritized...over time. Wisdom requires experience which requires time...we get to choose whatever is chosen in that time. We are always responsible for our choices. The changes you seek come most often incrementally I think but the greater the stress and turmoil in mind, the more important it is to pray. There's much within the text on prayer by the way.

I look forward to our time in study here together and I am confident the UB contains much you will be able to directly and personally employ which will elevate thinking and assist you in your spiritual quest for peace, harmony, courage, and confidence. Welcome.

Bradly 8)


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 5:23 pm +0000
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Hi Rick,

rabjr wrote:
I am lucky that I have a good family life. I have three good kids and an amazing wife. They are the only reason I am here today.


Your answer has already been given you. You love these people and they love you. Charity begins at home and you have a good beginning. Perhaps you think that all of your love is spent on these "special" people in your life and you have none left for others.

The fact that you have reached out, even fairly anonymously in this forum, is a good start. It is like a child beginning his kindergarten career and feeling fearful of joining circle.

You have infinite love in you. You know God and you feel his presence. Practice this Presence for He is the infinite fount of Love. God is Love, and infinitely more.

At the risk of sounding trite, love is the answer. Remember, the important things in life you learn in kindergarten. The first thing is to sit with us in the circle. God is the center of that circle. Stake your claim and take your seat.

Regards, Louis Manuel (Manny) Collazo (loucol), father of John Paul Collazo (johnnybones), my son the doctor.

But you can call me Ray. :lol: just kidding


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Hello Rick,
I appreciate seeing your sincere and candid post here. I hope you will feel comfortable to participate as your study of TUB continues.

This is the quote that came to my mind upon reading your post, it is from paper 100:

Quote:
100:4.6 (1098.3) You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments. It is not so important to love all men today as it is that each day you learn to love one more human being. If each day or each week you achieve an understanding of one more of your fellows, and if this is the limit of your ability, then you are certainly socializing and truly spiritualizing your personality. Love is infectious, and when human devotion is intelligent and wise, love is more catching than hate. But only genuine and unselfish love is truly contagious. If each mortal could only become a focus of dynamic affection, this benign virus of love would soon pervade the sentimental emotion-stream of humanity to such an extent that all civilization would be encompassed by love, and that would be the realization of the brotherhood of man.


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Greetings Rick,

It might be helpful for you to know that suspicion, fear and distrust are inherent in the human genome.(See 39:5:7 below) We were made with those traits for a reason, and that is for survival purposes. It's clear to me that you are a survivor and the need for these primitive reactions and instincts can now take a back seat. For some reason however, perhaps brain chemistry, your survival instincts still want to run the show. But here's the dirty little secret no one tells you: Those are animal instincts and just like any animal, they can be trained. The specifics on how you train them can be worked out with cognitive therapy and prayer. I won't go into details on that because it's a very personal process and different for each person, but I can tell you it works.

That being said, training your inner animal to obey your higher mind requires that you find your higher mind. That's the purpose of prayer, the practice of the presence of God. God forgives you so you need to be able to forgive yourself for all your shortcomings. As you learn to forgive yourself, you learn to trust; and as you learn to trust you begin to forget about yourself and your shortcomings. It's a long process but we're told that it doesn't matter what you are today, it matters what you are striving to become.(See 111:1:5 below)

We're also told that you cannot will yourself into trusting or loving other people. (See 100:4:6 below) It doesn't work that way. Human things and human beings have to be known in order to be loved. (See 102:1:1 below) In order to trust (and not fear) other human beings, you have to get to know them. You have to have some interest in understanding them, and if you can muster up interest in just one person outside your "comfort zone" every now and then, you will be succeeding. (See 100:4:6 below) All you have to do is ask them how they are, then listen as hard as you can listen and ask at least one appropriate question based upon what you've heard. The simple process of getting your mind off yourself and onto learning something about another person is the first step. Think of it as a learning exercise, not a social exercise. It doesn't have to go any further than one question, then you say, "Well, I hope you have a nice day, gotta run."

Finally, if striving to train your inner animal to be quiet while also striving to understand one more person results in occasional failure, don't beat yourself up. Don't become discouraged by the fact that you are human with human DNA. Just keep working at it.(See156:5:8 below) That's why God invented time. You have all you need and more.

The Spirits of Trust. Suspicion is the inherent reaction of primitive men; the survival struggles of the early ages do not naturally breed trust. Trust is a new human acquisition brought about by the ministry of these planetary seraphim of the Adamic regime. It is their mission to inculcate trust into the minds of evolving men. The Gods are very trustful; the Universal Father is willing freely to trust himself--the Adjuster--to man's association. 39:5:7

And it is not so much what mind comprehends as what mind desires to comprehend that insures survival; it is not so much what mind is like as what mind is striving to be like that constitutes spirit identification. It is not so much that man is conscious of God as that man yearns for God that results in universe ascension. What you are today is not so important as what you are becoming day by day and in eternity. 111:1:5

It is literally true, "Human things must be known in order to be loved, but divine things must be loved in order to be known." But honest doubts and sincere questionings are not sin; such attitudes merely spell delay in the progressive journey toward perfection attainment. 102:1:1

You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor's motives and sentiments. It is not so important to love all men today as it is that each day you learn to love one more human being. If each day or each week you achieve an understanding of one more of your fellows, and if this is the limit of your ability, then you are certainly socializing and truly spiritualizing your personality. 100:4:6

Do not become discouraged by the discovery that you are human. Human nature may tend toward evil, but it is not inherently sinful. Be not downcast by your failure wholly to forget some of your regrettable experiences. The mistakes which you fail to forget in time will be forgotten in eternity. Lighten your burdens of soul by speedily acquiring a long-distance view of your destiny, a universe expansion of your career. 156:5:8


In Friendship,
Rexford


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 Post subject: Re: Mind Problems
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Welcome Rick. Consider yourself at home here as far as truth is concerned because what you have been reading for 3 months is the 5th Epochal revelation of truth to Earth. Considering your post I can assure you you are on the right track in progress because it is written "seek the kingdom of GOD first and all the rest shall be added unto you" in the Bible. You say you have 3 kids and a wife. This is a very important God's work you have already done and doing for he wants us to have that experience of being a Father/Mother and in addition you have come this far without other distractions like substance use which in the long run lead nowhere as far as progress is concerned. I have faced similar of anxiety cases and my eventual un-intended isolation led me to seek more truth (infact online) by whichever way and at the same time I kept praying in truth & sincerely and guess what I landed on the Urantia book and among many other material I discerned it to be the truth, I downloaded it, read it cover to cover. It has been my main focus all the time. It touched me so much that any doubt or fear within me dissipated and my outlook in life changed tremendously. My faith in prayer is now strong and know prayers are heard and answered. I no longer feel hopeless in this temporal life and even the remaining personal transformations or programmed fears (some times fear is programmed into person by others via circumstances) will be OK. This Urantia Book will be of so much help to you and you will see what I mean by the time you finish round one. In my case now I am on the way to that God's great task you have already begun and now I am hopeful not feeling hopeless and optimistic of success in all the necessary stages involved in that enterprise. I will encourage you to keep praying much and eventually you will function without medication I have seen that work. Sincere Prayer uplifts when one feels downtrodden and in all cases. All the best Rick.


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Thank you everyone,

All your replies and quotes were uplifting and much appreciated.

Blessings to all-

Rick


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