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 Post subject: Re: Spirit/Flesh!
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Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 9:23 am +0000
Posts: 818
Greetings,

Another thing to consider is the simple psychological phenomenon of unrequited love. The desire to have something often increases in relation to its unavailability. Women have used this bit of psychology to play "hard to get" for millennia, and it usually works in getting men to do things they might not do if in a more rational state. That doesn't mean I'm blaming women. On the contrary, both are to blame.

The most obvious example of love gone wrong is between Cano and Eve. What a disaster! Never try to commingle good and evil. Good intentions can be evil.

There is a wrong way to do things and a right way to do things. Just because you can talk yourself into thinking your intentions are good, doesn't mean that they are. If you're constantly having an argument with yourself, chances are the conflict is between God's way and your own way. Always do the right thing, do God's way, and don't allow yourself to be talked out of it. These are circle making times. Choose wisely.

In Friendship,
Rexford


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 Post subject: Re: Spirit/Flesh!
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Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:55 am +0000
Posts: 432
Streetspirit,

Ah, forbidden love, the dominant theme portrayed in modern and even ancient cultural works. Countless works of fiction and song pay homage to it. Its effects are intoxicating if not maddening, for sure.

Yes, what you feel is normal. It is normal because a lot of what you are feeling is the mating instinct. We are told nature has no regard for social institutions. Marriage is definitely NOT in our DNA.

I think you should consider that, despite your best intentions and what seems to be your sincerest hopes, you are (and perhaps she is) overcome with lust. Yes, lust, not love. Modern usage tends to reduce lust down to the crudest idea of the of sex drive, but in reality it is a far more encompassing psychological state of mind where on fixates on anything greatly desired with intense myopia and feelings of euphoria.

I think lust is something we experience and has been heightened by our Adamic heritage in that we are more able to embellish and fantasize about what could be.

What you should consider is that perhaps you are more enthralled, not necessarily with her, but with the idea of her. Our greatest pleasures are often not a particular event but rather the anticipation of that event or state.

But in the midst of this emotion, zoom out and look at all the other consequences of consummation of this desire. You hurt not only her relationship with her husband, but threaten the foundation of their family, whether or not they have children right now. To act upon the urge would put those potentials in jeopardy. You likely would end up hurting yourself, as well, as you immediately will have competition for her affection (you think her husband would just leave the picture?)

Say you do act, and say you get together. How are you certain these feelings will last? In my experience, they usually don't. Not the really strong ones, at least. After a few years, the flame flickers a bit and you have to work at keeping things going.

And you're already making it hard for yourself since the relationship would have started in an arena of evil- betrayal, one of the most destructive evils people can inflict on others. If you start a relationship where she betrays her husband, what will stop you from suspecting she might betray you once things start getting tough? (They will!)

This temptation is always there for every human, whether or not they are datinfg or married. We tend to focus in on everything that we WANT and we forget about everything we already HAVE. What you may not realize is that these feelings you each share are putting your platonic relationship in jeopardy. Your friendship could be lost forever if you make the wrong move.

Please don't mistake what I am saying. I am not judging you for what you feel. I know what you feel. Pretty much everyone on this planet does. You are not alone and you can make the right decision, particularly if you seek God's perspective on the matter and dedicate yourself to understanding and living it. Good luck!


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