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Does the UB have any specific recommendations for human society regarding men who are preoccupied with their sex drive and affairs versus working hard, providing for, spending time with, and loving their own wife and children? Why do we seem to be such a self-centered sex-starved society? Was it always this way? Is it some kind of Hollywood indoctrination that one's own body, feelings, and intimate desires matter most in the world, even if it hurts others who are depending on dad. What happened to dad? Why is he missing? How do we get him back? How do we wake him up? How do we help him to know that his brain, goodwill, and love for family is more important than thinking with other parts of his body? How can we find dad and help him? So many dads are lost and missing in action. We love dad. We need dad. Come back home. Love mom and us kids.


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Hi 777Eric,
Our primitive ancestors survived because of this tendency for males to procreate freely and not attach themselves to anyone. The family unit responsible for civilization evolved out of this primitive survival instinct because the family and civilization provided greater survival. Now that government provides security and assures us of even greater survival, the family has suffered as a consequence. The only thing that can be done in the long run is to limit the intrusion of government into the family structure where single moms can get along without men in their lives and men are expendable and useless except for their sperm. Only until both man and women value their offspring enough to provide for a two parent home will there be any chance of curbing the trend of fatherless homes.

In the meantime, all that one can do is to forgive them for they know not what they are doing.

Regards, Louis


Last edited by loucol on Fri Jan 09, 2015 5:19 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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loucol wrote:
Hi 777Eric,
Our primitive ancestors survived because of this tendency for males to procreate freely and not attach themselves to anyone. The family unit responsible for civilization evolved out of this primitive survival instinct because the family and civilization provided greater survival. Now that government provides security and assures us of even greater survival, the family has suffered as a consequence. The only thing that can be done in the long run is to limit the intrusion of government into the family structure where single moms can get along without men in their lives and men are expendable and useless except for their sperm. Only until both man and women value their offspring enough to provide for a two parent home will there be any chance of curbing the trend of fatherless homes.

In the meantime, all that one can do is to forgive them for know not what they are doing.

Regards, Louis


thanks for detailed answer, this will give me something to ponder for awhile on this subject. very interesting.


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Does the UB have any specific recommendations for human society regarding men who are preoccupied with their sex drive and affairs versus working hard, providing for, spending time with, and loving their own wife and children? Why do we seem to be such a self-centered sex-starved society? Was it always this way? Is it some kind of Hollywood indoctrination that one's own body, feelings, and intimate desires matter most in the world, even if it hurts others who are depending on dad. What happened to dad? Why is he missing? How do we get him back? How do we wake him up? How do we help him to know that his brain, goodwill, and love for family is more important than thinking with other parts of his body? How can we find dad and help him? So many dads are lost and missing in action. We love dad. We need dad. Come back home. Love mom and us kids.


Hi Eric,

I'm just a little curious. Is this pertain to your dad? I read in another thread that you said you are now 50 years old. I would estimate your dad would be at least 70 years old already and still preoccupied with sex? :razz: I guess it is more likely you are talking about some other dads. :smile:


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I was fortunate and had a dad who stayed with the family and provided for us.
I was writing through the eyes of a child. There are many hurting children.
I see many broken homes and children lacking what they should have. Dads missing in action. Some dads unwilling to work. Other dads unwilling to pay child-support. Dads unable to make a relationship work with the mothers of their children. Dads unwilling to spend time with their children.
Men eager to sleep around, but unwilling to take responsibility for the children they already have and new children they father.
It puts an added stress on society and the mothers, and especially deprives the children of all they should have growing up.


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Hi Eric,

There's always the possibility of leading by example :razz:


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777Eric wrote:
Does the UB have any specific recommendations for human society regarding men who are preoccupied with their sex drive and affairs versus working hard, providing for, spending time with, and loving their own wife and children? Why do we seem to be such a self-centered sex-starved society? Was it always this way? Is it some kind of Hollywood indoctrination that one's own body, feelings, and intimate desires matter most in the world, even if it hurts others who are depending on dad. What happened to dad? Why is he missing? How do we get him back? How do we wake him up? How do we help him to know that his brain, goodwill, and love for family is more important than thinking with other parts of his body? How can we find dad and help him? So many dads are lost and missing in action. We love dad. We need dad. Come back home. Love mom and us kids.


The answer to your first question is a big YES INDEED!! The UB teaches that the family unit is the core and essential foundation of ALL culture and society and planetary progress. The relationships between the father and the mother and each of those to the children and the resulting dynamic is the foundation for the example and discovery of love, loyalty, duty, selflessness, and self sacrifice (ego sacrifice or control - not forsaking self exactly). This is a pattern of the universe paternity of Deity and the resultant sibling-hood of all creatures, both high and low.

Without getting into any specifics as to causes or solutions, we must be careful not to judge the past or the present by our personal and localized perceptions or bias. Not all cultures today are the materialistic and individualistic result of Western decadence. But those individuals and groupings of individuals who are attached to materialism and pleasure and self will always suffer the effects of such causes - the linkage is direct.

The human family provides a vehicle for discovery of higher ideals, thoughts, choices, and behaviors that reflect the universe reality patterns - without any real awareness of the universality OF such patterns. Love is the way for all to transcend material and self focused choosing, and the family is designed to provide that elementary introduction to reality.

Great topic and discussion. Thanks Eric!! 8)


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Riktare wrote:
Hi Eric,

There's always the possibility of leading by example :razz:


Yes, am endeavoring to do more of that, there's much room for improvement here for sure. Thanks for reply.


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fanofVan wrote:
777Eric wrote:

The answer to your first question is a big YES INDEED!! The UB teaches that the family unit is the core and essential foundation of ALL culture and society and planetary progress. The relationships between the father and the mother and each of those to the children and the resulting dynamic is the foundation for the example and discovery of love, loyalty, duty, selflessness, and self sacrifice (ego sacrifice or control - not forsaking self exactly). This is a pattern of the universe paternity of Deity and the resultant sibling-hood of all creatures, both high and low.

Without getting into any specifics as to causes or solutions, we must be careful not to judge the past or the present by our personal and localized perceptions or bias. Not all cultures today are the materialistic and individualistic result of Western decadence. But those individuals and groupings of individuals who are attached to materialism and pleasure and self will always suffer the effects of such causes - the linkage is direct.

The human family provides a vehicle for discovery of higher ideals, thoughts, choices, and behaviors that reflect the universe reality patterns - without any real awareness of the universality OF such patterns. Love is the way for all to transcend material and self focused choosing, and the family is designed to provide that elementary introduction to reality.

Great topic and discussion. Thanks Eric!! 8)


Thanks for reply. Love is something i also working more on. I like hearing about the family from the UB. Will read into this more also.
This is very good and easy to use appealing website to learn more about the Urantia Papers and many subjects.


Last edited by 777Eric on Fri Jan 09, 2015 11:26 am +0000, edited 1 time in total.

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Paper 84

Marriage and Family Life

(931.1) 84:0.1 MATERIAL necessity founded marriage, sex hunger embellished it, religion sanctioned and exalted it, the state demanded and regulated it, while in later times evolving love is beginning to justify and glorify marriage as the ancestor and creator of civilization’s most useful and sublime institution, the home. And home building should be the center and essence of all educational effort.

(931.2) 84:0.2 Mating is purely an act of self-perpetuation associated with varying degrees of self-gratification; marriage, home building, is largely a matter of self-maintenance, and it implies the evolution of society. Society itself is the aggregated structure of family units. Individuals are very temporary as planetary factors — only families are continuing agencies in social evolution. The family is the channel through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another.

(931.3) 84:0.3 The home is basically a sociologic institution. Marriage grew out of co-operation in self-maintenance and partnership in self-perpetuation, the element of self-gratification being largely incidental. Nevertheless, the home does embrace all three of the essential functions of human existence, while life propagation makes it the fundamental human institution, and sex sets it off from all other social activities.

(938.6) 84:6.2 Every successful human institution embraces antagonisms of personal interest which have been adjusted to practical working harmony, and homemaking is no exception. Marriage, the basis of home building, is the highest manifestation of that antagonistic co-operation which so often characterizes the contacts of nature and society. The conflict is inevitable. Mating is inherent; it is natural. But marriage is not biologic; it is sociologic. Passion insures that man and woman will come together, but the weaker parental instinct and the social mores hold them together.

(938.7) 84:6.3 Male and female are, practically regarded, two distinct varieties of the same species living in close and intimate association. Their viewpoints and entire life reactions are essentially different; they are wholly incapable of full and real comprehension of each other. Complete understanding between the sexes is not attainable.

(940.6) 84:7.10 Love of offspring is almost universal and is of distinct survival value. ....

(941.8) 84:7.27 In the present industrial and urban era the marriage institution is evolving along new economic lines. Family life has become more and more costly, while children, who used to be an asset, have become economic liabilities. But the security of civilization itself still rests on the growing willingness of one generation to invest in the welfare of the next and future generations. And any attempt to shift parental responsibility to state or church will prove suicidal to the welfare and advancement of civilization.

(941.9) 84:7.28 Marriage, with children and consequent family life, is stimulative of the highest potentials in human nature and simultaneously provides the ideal avenue for the expression of these quickened attributes of mortal personality. The family provides for the biologic perpetuation of the human species. The home is the natural social arena wherein the ethics of blood brotherhood may be grasped by the growing children. The family is the fundamental unit of fraternity in which parents and children learn those lessons of patience, altruism, tolerance, and forbearance which are so essential to the realization of brotherhood among all men.

(942.2) 84:8.1 The great threat against family life is the menacing rising tide of self-gratification, the modern pleasure mania. The prime incentive to marriage used to be economic; sex attraction was secondary. Marriage, founded on self-maintenance, led to self-perpetuation and concomitantly provided one of the most desirable forms of self-gratification. It is the only institution of human society which embraces all three of the great incentives for living.

8)


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