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Hallo everyone.

I would actually really like an ear, thats about it. And my question is, what can a person do when someone just don't like you - fullstop. The thing is, these two ladies work with me. I see them everyday.
The one can't except me like I am, with my faults - she's a "bible under the arm" person and the other lady just cant seem to except me (my personality, me as a person) she always has a problem with something I said, I did or sugested. I am souls-tired if her rejection, so now I just keep my distance, treat her with respect and "hide" me when I'm around her, coz I know it will prevoke something. Either her having a problem or me picking up on the atmosphere in the office - and that also hurts, to be honest, its the thing that hurts the most lately is the atmosphere.

I know that I'm not one of the "poch" people. I grew up in "the back streets" of life if you chatch my drift. And you will always pick it up in the way I talk, walk, do things and make jokes. And thats why I have a big soft spot for people that is "different" than the usual, coz I know where they are coming from and I know that they also have a heart and a very good one at that. But most of the times its the christians that bible bash them. Christianity makes the innocent guilty.

But anyway, back to the subject of this lady; I also thought that maybe its just me, so I did like the UB said and focused on my thinking and my attitude (I realize that I do have lots to work at allong with the help of my Thought Adjuster, I have progressed alot but still have a very very long way to go, I understand; but don't we all?). I even focused on how I treated other people that do not work with me. Quite different though, I have no problem with people not "liking me" or excepting me. All of the other people in my life, allong with little hick-ups we always solve, except me for who I am. I have discussed this with her a few times and I always need to be as kind as possible in my words or e-mails otherwise she might understand it incorrectly and flame into a frenzy. I'm also not a pushover, but with her its rather wise to say nothing and be the lesser one. I went down that road before with her, stood up for myself and man, what I terrible fight. Just made everything worse and man, did she chew me up and spit me out.

To be honest, I'm a very loving person and I love easily. I even tried to give her some love (but real love, straight form the heart) she took it for a while, she even confessed that she needs to love in her life, but shortly after that, she said that she does not like it, it irritates her and its silly. Now that was where I draw the line, I'm not gonna force love upon her, not even our Father does that.

So there it is in a nutshell. Any advice or anything form the Urantia Book that I missed on this subject, would be nice :) and highly appreciated.

Thank you for your ears :)
I already feel much better.

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"Searching for the Truth, should be like a man with his head on fire, looking for water..."


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I must be brief...for now. But let us begin by acknowledging that YOU are seeking understanding with an open mind and willing heart. Bravo! And let us remember that you can change you....and only you. Each person must deal with their own pride and prejudice and their own judgementalism and must respond to the spirit within by their own choice. This means your options are limited to effectively change any other mind about any issue - large or small. We all like to be liked and to be thought likeable. But is such a worthy intent? Or do we become more likeable by spirit progress? I think we do, but not to all others all the time.

I think you may need to find some way to love, rather than like, these ladies. To simply exude yourself and your own highest ideals without flattery or being cute or clever....but, rather, by being consistant in your good humor, patience, tolerance, helpfulness, and confidence in yourself as a child of the same Father....but yours is life in a "friendly" universe where there is nothing to fear. Where do they live?? Some we know are subject to our pity when they are driven by fears and doubts and angers, especially those who suffer at the hands of others. Others, we are warned, should not receive even our sympathy....false sympathy goes to those who suffer from their own choices and must suffer those inherent consequences to their choices, the better to learn to choose better!! And no being has the power to interfere in these choice or their consequences for another being. Just can't be done. You can only witness for the spirit and hope that by such a light shining in the dimness of this situation, that it might lead another out of their own darkness. But you can only shine your light, and not bring the flame to another. They must choose.

Don't know the answer TruthFinder....but an excellent topic for discussion and text!! You are only an ambassador of the kingdom. An emisary for peace. Thanks.

(1766.7) 159:3.11 Teach all believers to avoid leaning upon the insecure props of false sympathy. You cannot develop strong characters out of the indulgence of self-pity; honestly endeavor to avoid the deceptive influence of mere fellowship in misery. Extend sympathy to the brave and courageous while you withhold overmuch pity from those cowardly souls who only halfheartedly stand up before the trials of living. Offer not consolation to those who lie down before their troubles without a struggle. Sympathize not with your fellows merely that they may sympathize with you in return.

(1571.3) 140:3.16 “Your Father in heaven makes the sun to shine on the evil as well as upon the good; likewise he sends rain on the just and the unjust. You are the sons of God; even more, you are now the ambassadors of my Father’s kingdom. Be merciful, even as God is merciful, and in the eternal future of the kingdom you shall be perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect.

(1571.4) 140:3.17 “You are commissioned to save men, not to judge them. At the end of your earth life you will all expect mercy; therefore do I require of you during your mortal life that you show mercy to all of your brethren in the flesh. Make not the mistake of trying to pluck a mote out of your brother’s eye when there is a beam in your own eye. Having first cast the beam out of your own eye, you can the better see to cast the mote out of your brother’s eye.

(1571.5) 140:3.18 “Discern the truth clearly; live the righteous life fearlessly; and so shall you be my apostles and my Father’s ambassadors. You have heard it said: ‘If the blind lead the blind, they both shall fall into the pit.’ If you would guide others into the kingdom, you must yourselves walk in the clear light of living truth. In all the business of the kingdom I exhort you to show just judgment and keen wisdom. Present not that which is holy to dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample your gems under foot and turn to rend you.


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TruthFinder wrote:
… To be honest, I'm a very loving person and I love easily. I even tried to give her some love (but real love, straight form the heart) she took it for a while, she even confessed that she needs to love in her life, but shortly after that, she said that she does not like it, it irritates her and its silly. Now that was where I draw the line, I'm not gonna force love upon her, not even our Father does that. …
Hi TruthFinder. According to TUB, "You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments" (100:4.6). So I’m not quite sure how you can say you love easily. Do you easily understand the "motives and sentiments" of other people?

Anyway, the book only instructs us to achieve an intelligent understanding of our fellows. Affection or even love may or may not result from such efforts, but at least you will socialize and truly spiritualize your personality .. O:)
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100:4.6 You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments. It is not so important to love all men today as it is that each day you learn to love one more human being. If each day or each week you achieve an understanding of one more of your fellows, and if this is the limit of your ability, then you are certainly socializing and truly spiritualizing your personality. Love is infectious, and when human devotion is intelligent and wise, love is more catching than hate. But only genuine and unselfish love is truly contagious. If each mortal could only become a focus of dynamic affection, this benign virus of love would soon pervade the sentimental emotion-stream of humanity to such an extent that all civilization would be encompassed by love, and that would be the realization of the brotherhood of man.


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Dear FanofVan

Thank you for your advice. And most of all, thank you for your personal choice of UB verses. They always make an impact upon me and my life. And I see them personally for myself and not the others. I will first look for the beam in my own eye and cast it out. To strive to be perfect like our Father is not for cowards yes, we must be brave and courageous and stand up to meat life even if it gets really hard sometimes.

If I sometimes stumble and fall, I always remember this verse: (111.1,5) It is not so much what mind comprehends as what mind desires to comprehend that insures survival; it is not so much what mind is like as what mind is striving to be like that constitutes spirit identification. It is not so much that man is conscious of God as that man yearns for God that results in universe ascension. What you are today is not so important as what you are becoming day by day and in eternity.
This verse has always gave me strength to ge back up on the horse again; and keep on trying.

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Dear Bart

I see your point and thank you for reminding me. I truely love the truth and by giving it to others while in need is a sign of caring and loving.
I believe that understanding anothers motives and sentaments is the true way of loving and it prevokes deeper love yes. But what are these other feelings I so feverishly harbour in my heart for others I do not even know? I believe I know what these feelings are, its a very small measure of our Fahters love I also experience for others, for my brothers and sisters.
(103.1,1) It is this divine in man that gives origin to his unselfish interest in the welfare of other men. But since personality is unique — no two mortals being alike — it inevitably follows that no two human beings can similarly interpret the leadings and urges of the spirit of divinity which lives within their minds.

I understand that we are all unique like a snow flake and the relationship and experiences we have with our indwelling Thought Adjusters are also very unique and thats for all the more reason I forsure can also learn from you, fanofvan and others of the Brotherhood.

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TruthFinder....an interesting conundrum for us mortals to be sure. The UB gives many instructions regarding balance and that includes our interactions with one another. I find the presentation of the kingdom of believers a form of differentiation. In general we are to seek Him within the each and to love the all but we are also admonished that most "suffering" is a function of just-desserts or the natural consequences of bad motives, intentions, and choices. As likeable as Jesus was, not everyone liked even Him. He really didn't seem to care....or be driven and motivated by any need to be liked. I wonder if wanting to be liked isn't another form of ego. Is righteousness affected by the opinions of others? I offer no answers here...just my own form of puzzlement on this issue.

How are we to love them we cannot like? Or do not like us? We must....eventually. Until then, we will learn to discern the spark and the hope in each mind and to work to reduce the fears of others. But we must truly BE divinely inspired and motivated - regardless of whether others like us or respond to the world of love in which we abide. We must abide there first I think. And seek friendship with Father to become more like Him......as we walk by. We are not here to save the world, but only to serve it I think.

(1289.3) 117:6.10 All true love is from God, and man receives the divine affection as he himself bestows this love upon his fellows. Love is dynamic. It can never be captured; it is alive, free, thrilling, and always moving. Man can never take the love of the Father and imprison it within his heart. The Father’s love can become real to mortal man only by passing through that man’s personality as he in turn bestows this love upon his fellows. The great circuit of love is from the Father, through sons to brothers, and hence to the Supreme. The love of the Father appears in the mortal personality by the ministry of the indwelling Adjuster. Such a God-knowing son reveals this love to his universe brethren, and this fraternal affection is the essence of the love of the Supreme.

The more love we give, the more we receive and the more we receive, the better we will know how to direct it to those whom Father puts before us. Learn, discern, grow......repeat! Endlessly. Thanks for the topic TruthFinder. Peace.

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TruthFinder wrote:
… I truely love the truth and by giving it to others while in need is a sign of caring and loving.
I believe that understanding anothers motives and sentaments is the true way of loving and it prevokes deeper love yes. But what are these other feelings I so feverishly harbour in my heart for others I do not even know? I believe I know what these feelings are, its a very small measure of our Fahters love I also experience for others, for my brothers and sisters.

(103.1,1) It is this divine in man that gives origin to his unselfish interest in the welfare of other men. But since personality is unique — no two mortals being alike — it inevitably follows that no two human beings can similarly interpret the leadings and urges of the spirit of divinity which lives within their minds.

I understand that we are all unique like a snow flake and the relationship and experiences we have with our indwelling Thought Adjusters are also very unique and thats for all the more reason I forsure can also learn from you, fanofvan and others of the Brotherhood.
Hi TruthFinder. I do believe you have these feelings of love for all people. And if it is a fact that "Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments" (100:4.6), then you must somehow recognize/understand/know our only common essence: God or the Adjuster. In other words, you must be God-knowing, which is of course entirely possible and quite interesting! :)


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fanofVan wrote:
As likeable as Jesus was, not everyone liked even Him. He really didn't seem to care....or be driven and motivated by any need to be liked. I wonder if wanting to be liked isn't another form of ego. Is righteousness affected by the opinions of others? I offer no answers here...just my own form of puzzlement on this issue.8)


Hi fanofVan

Yes; I agree with you completely, not everyone liked Jesus; if you have a fault finders eye, you will even find fault with Christ Michael Himself. I am aware of that, my Thougth Adjuster shared a little something about that with me a while ago. I myself am also not driven to be liked by everyone, but the people close to me, that's directly connected to my path of life is another matter. Let me explain my definition of like: If I experience any friction between a person directly involved in my life, I would do everything I can to solve it and to make it better, to be able to "understand their sentiments and motives" and if I cannot understand, it will haunt me untill I find I way to understand. Because not be able to live in love with others (directly connected to me) is hell.

Thank you for the topic yes, I've learned quite a bit.

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Hi Bart
Thanks for the reply. Well I like to believe that I am God-knowing. But the feeling of love and compassion I share towards others are extremely strong, no matter what colour, race or age. Its just the way I am and I like to believe that its the "higher me" - afterall we were created by Love to Love; and if I find myself doing the opposite, I immediatly try to work at it and make it better; I even tend to get a bit depressed over my "lower self" sometimes, you know, when I sometimes fail (that I will, I'm also in this flesh you know), but then I remember verse and it helps allot (111.1,5) It is not so much what mind comprehends as what mind desires to comprehend that insures survival; it is not so much what mind is like as what mind is striving to be like that constitutes spirit identification. It is not so much that man is conscious of God as that man yearns for God that results in universe ascension. What you are today is not so important as what you are becoming day by day and in eternity.

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TruthFinder wrote:
Hi Bart
Thanks for the reply. Well I like to believe that I am God-knowing. But the feeling of love and compassion I share towards others are extremely strong, no matter what colour, race or age. Its just the way I am and I like to believe that its the "higher me" - afterall we were created by Love to Love; and if I find myself doing the opposite, I immediatly try to work at it and make it better; I even tend to get a bit depressed over my "lower self" sometimes, you know, when I sometimes fail (that I will, I'm also in this flesh you know), but then I remember verse and it helps allot

(111.1,5) It is not so much what mind comprehends as what mind desires to comprehend that insures survival; it is not so much what mind is like as what mind is striving to be like that constitutes spirit identification. It is not so much that man is conscious of God as that man yearns for God that results in universe ascension. What you are today is not so important as what you are becoming day by day and in eternity.
Hi TruthFinder. If you are God-knowing (God-conscious) it will be absolutely clear to you that you are. If you only believe that you are God-knowing, then you really are not.. Then the question will remain what it is that makes you love all people.. According to TUB any love must be based on knowledge or understanding of our brothers and sisters. So to even love people that you do not know in the common sense of the word, requires a very basic, fundamental knowledge/understanding/intuition of everyone, which (in my view) can only be knowledge/consciousness of the presence of the Adjuster (or God) in all human minds. But you may, of course, see this differently..

I understand what you are saying regarding the importance of what a person strives to become. And you may strive to love all people for some inner conviction that it would be a good thing to love all people. But that doesn’t mean you actually love all people now. IMO you would have to be at least a third circler to have the required insight.. But, again, you may see this differently.. :)


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