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On another thread (in Questions and Answers), I talked about the block feature not enabling study group members to request forgiveness. I was wrong about that, the block feature DOES allow private messages:

Foes are users which will be ignored by default. Posts by these users will not be fully visible. Personal messages from foes are still permitted.

Having learned that such a channel is available, I sent a private message to a person here who seems to have me blocked, requesting forgiveness. I sent the message early yesterday and, despite the person having logged in and posted on active threads at least 8 times throughout the day today from morning to afternoon, the person has not read my message to them (judging by the 'Outbox' showing the message as unread). To me, this demonstrates a remarkably inconsiderate attitude toward our study here together; to not even read a personal note or respond to a sincere request. The resistance to my offer of reconciliation and request for forgiveness is just unfathomable to me. I wanted to share my note publicly so others can see that I have reached out. There is nothing more I can do.

My private message has the topic line "Can you forgive and forget?"
Quote:
I am writing to inquire as to whether you have me blocked as a 'foe'. I get the sense that you have, but I don't recall you saying that you felt that need or any confrontational exchange we may have had. If you have blocked me, I'd like to understand:

1) why? If I do not know how I caused offense, it is difficult to avoid doing so in the future
2) do you intend to block me as a 'foe' forever, or is there some hope that you can forgive and forget and we can start anew?
3) do you think blocking other members of the study group as foes is a Jesusonion thing to do? Especially if there is no hope of forgiveness for that person who may have (knowingly or, in my case, unknowingly) wronged you?

And finally, if you have not blocked me but simply see no value in my posts (as I don't see you respond to any of the questions or points I make on discussions on which you are active), I can accept that but can you forgive and forget for those whom you HAVE blocked?

Thanks for taking the time to read my private message.

Agon


From Jesus' sermon on forgiveness, which he gave to the apostles:

159:1.3 (1762.5) “The Father in heaven loves his children, and therefore should you learn to love one another; the Father in heaven forgives you your sins; therefore should you learn to forgive one another. If your brother sins against you, go to him and with tact and patience show him his fault. And do all this between you and him alone. If he will listen to you, then have you won your brother. But if your brother will not hear you, if he persists in the error of his way, go again to him, taking with you one or two mutual friends that you may thus have two or even three witnesses to confirm your testimony and establish the fact that you have dealt justly and mercifully with your offending brother. Now if he refuses to hear your brethren, you may tell the whole story to the congregation, and then, if he refuses to hear the brotherhood, let them take such action as they deem wise; let such an unruly member become an outcast from the kingdom. …. [this is a very long quote but the part I've copied here is the relevant part.]

I have done my part, and it saddens me that I can do no more about this. I hope that we, as a study group, can try to forgive each other and enjoy the growth and spiritual fragrance that forgiveness brings about.


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Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:16 pm +0000
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Yes, that is a serious issue "blocking", "ghosting". If it wasn't a purely social connection, say you had a job and just stopped working, then you would have to say that such actions put yourself, unduly, at the mercy of others in the hereafter. And it can be exasperating to feel as if a loved one is so distant, or too stubborn, that you can no longer "reach out and connect". But even if communication is halted, that does not imply that the relationship is ever really over. Maybe you will never see that person again during this lifetime, but then how do you prepare for a reconciliation? How do you express your willingness, to set aside your emotions and discuss with the other person when it comes time to sit at the table once again, to speak with each other? You have to guard against or work on relaxing your own emotional reactions. There are issues in the relationship maybe you will have to work through, but connecting as friends, cohorts, should be the goal of the next social contact, the next engagement with such other. Relationships with others whom you meet on Urantia, astoundingly you will grow and live and change, but who you are in relationship to that person will maintain all of the little things that you were working on, and you can make progress from actuality existences, you inevitably must begin somehow where "the two of you left off". Just have faith: if you are both to endure time, you should be certain of that future encounter.

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to the Underlaying Unity of All Life so that the Voice of Intuition may guide Us closer to Our Common Keeper


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SEla_Kelly wrote:
Maybe you will never see that person again during this lifetime, but then how do you prepare for a reconciliation?


That's a really good question. Do you think there should be a willingness to accept responsibility for one's own wrongdoing before attempting reconciliation? And once responsibility is accepted, some attempt at rehabilitation?

I've always been struck by the fact that the Revelation teaches two kinds of forgiveness: the forgiveness of mercy and the forgiveness of love. If mercy is something that needs four steps to arrive at, how many steps are there for us humans to get to forgiveness of love, especially if the forgiveness of love demands that the sin also be destroyed forever along with all weakness resulting from it? It seems that rehabilitation cannot be ignored, at least Jesus doesn't ignore it, he seems to demand it.

(2018.1) 188:5.2 The cross forever shows that the attitude of Jesus toward sinners was neither condemnation nor condonation, but rather eternal and loving salvation. Jesus is truly a savior in the sense that his life and death do win men over to goodness and righteous survival. Jesus loves men so much that his love awakens the response of love in the human heart. Love is truly contagious and eternally creative. Jesus’ death on the cross exemplifies a love which is sufficiently strong and divine to forgive sin and swallow up all evil-doing. Jesus disclosed to this world a higher quality of righteousness than justice — mere technical right and wrong. Divine love does not merely forgive wrongs; it absorbs and actually destroys them. The forgiveness of love utterly transcends the forgiveness of mercy. Mercy sets the guilt of evil-doing to one side; but love destroys forever the sin and all weakness resulting therefrom. Jesus brought a new method of living to Urantia. He taught us not to resist evil but to find through him a goodness which effectually destroys evil. The forgiveness of Jesus is not condonation; it is salvation from condemnation. Salvation does not slight wrongs; it makes them right. True love does not compromise nor condone hate; it destroys it. The love of Jesus is never satisfied with mere forgiveness. The Master’s love implies rehabilitation, eternal survival. It is altogether proper to speak of salvation as redemption if you mean this eternal rehabilitation.


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katroofjebus wrote:
SEla_Kelly wrote:
Maybe you will never see that person again during this lifetime, but then how do you prepare for a reconciliation?


That's a really good question. Do you think there should be a willingness to accept responsibility for one's own wrongdoing before attempting reconciliation?


That is exactly why I sent a private message asking if the person would please tell me WHY they blocked me, because I have no idea. I cannot accept responsibility until I first understand what I did wrong. To my knowledge, I have not attacked this person personally. So why won't they read my message?

As I wrote in my message on Thursday morning, which the person hasn't read (or certainly hasn't replied)

Quote:
I'd like to understand:

1) why? If I do not know how I caused offense, it is difficult to avoid doing so in the future


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katroofjebus wrote:

I've always been struck by the fact that the Revelation teaches two kinds of forgiveness: the forgiveness of mercy and the forgiveness of love. If mercy is something that needs four steps to arrive at, how many steps are there for us humans to get to forgiveness of love...


My initial post already addressed the steps to get to forgiveness. I'll re-post the quote.

Quote:
159:1.3 (1762.5) “The Father in heaven loves his children, and therefore should you learn to love one another; the Father in heaven forgives you your sins; therefore should you learn to forgive one another. If your brother sins against you, [1] go to him and with tact and patience show him his fault. And do all this between you and him alone. If he will listen to you, then have you won your brother. But if your brother will not hear you, if he persists in the error of his way, [2] go again to him, taking with you one or two mutual friends that you may thus have two or even three witnesses to confirm your testimony and establish the fact that you have dealt justly and mercifully with your offending brother. Now if he refuses to hear your brethren, you may [3] tell the whole story to the congregation, and then, if he refuses to hear the brotherhood, let them take such action as they deem wise; [4] let such an unruly member become an outcast from the kingdom. …. [this is a very long quote but the part I've copied here is the relevant part.]


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I will say that a person who blocked me a while back at least had the courtesy to tell me why they were blocking me. It was because I kept asking them "have you read the book?" which seems a perfectly valid question to ask on a forum solely devoted to the group study of a specific book. Nevertheless, that person took offense. It was completely within their power to simply answer the question, just once, and that would have put an end to it.

But they chose not to; they chose to block me as a "foe" instead. A simple 'yes' or 'no' and we could have continued in brotherly study without issue; but that was too much to ask. Nevertheless, at least that person let me know what I had done that caused offense. That is fair.

Blocking someone without telling them why is not fair. Expecting someone to 'take responsibility' for something they have no knowledge of is absurd.


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STOP!!

Just stop now, do you think you can do it? (talking to all parties involved) I challenge you to walk away from this thread. It's almost impossible, but I know you can do it. Imagine God within you, loving you, with the same eternal concern He has for every living being.
Where does this thread fit in with that picture?

It's laughable, but I don't mean this in a snide way. Don't you find the humor in the enormous waste of energy it takes to harbor the ego's fears? In the morontia life we will revue our many feuds and hurts, and we will smile over it. If you can do that now, just smile and shrug it off, you are doing good work now, eons closer to infinity.

If I sound critical of anyone specifically, I apologize. Yet I think we all have a responsibility to raise the level of our discourse above the personal, since we all understand the UP in our own unique way. Peace!


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I was intentionally 'raising it beyond the personal' on this thread by removing all names from my experience. It is my intention on this thread to discuss ways in which we, as a study group community, can forgive each other. Forgiveness is one of the most essential and significant teachings of the UB. If we can not demonstrate forgiveness amongst ourselves, we are most certainly not doing God's will.

You may think it's "laughable" but a loving, caring community is one that forgives, and allows others a fair chance to seek forgiveness.


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