My wide reading of Edgar Cayce books and assorted New Age materials reawakened me to the fact that God is real and Jesus was and is who he said he was. And yet I knew that there was more, much more. I knew that I was missing the really big picture.
I used to spend much time poking around in a certain New Age bookstore, where I had discovered Alan Watts, the Seth books and many others that piqued my curiosity. I well remember first seeing The Urantia Book lying face-up on a shelf in the same corner where I had found so many books that fed my interests. I recall looking at it and thinking, I'll pass on that." I didn't even bother opening it; the front cover alone was enough to turn me away.
What followed was an amazing ritual that repeated itself over several months. I would be drawn to that same bookstore many times, and each time I left empty-handed. I knew that I was being guided there, that I was supposed to find something so spectacular that it would change my life and my view of the world. And yet I left disappointed every time. No matter what book I picked up, I knew it was not the one.
After several months of this strange searching, when I found myself once more bewildered in this store, I heard a voice loud and clear inside my head telling me to go to a particular library branch, adding, "You will find what you are looking for. This bookstore is just too big and overwhelming." Immediately I headed for this library branch. Walking over to its Occult section, the UB fell into my hands almost within seconds. I didn't even realize that I had discounted it before in the bookstore. I sat down, and looking through it I could only say yes, yes, yes, yes, this is it! This is it! I was in heaven. I read the book right from the beginning. The descriptions of the spiritual hierarchy in particular made so much sense to me. I was enthralled!
I talked to everybody I knew, asking if they were aware of this book, until finally somebody suggested writing to the publisher's address in Chicago. That resulted in my getting the phone number of a local study group. Meanwhile, I talked so much about the UB that several people got infected by my enthusiasm and rushed out to buy their own copies. I did not urge anybody to buy the book; it was my passion for it that aroused their appetites.
Did The Urantia Book change my life? You bet! I joined a Christian church to mix with fellow believers - just as the UB advises - and in my enthusiasm for the book I talked to another member about the great spiritual truth it contains. Ironically, that got me turned out in no time. The senior pastor told me, "Satan has got you!"
One of the great revelations that came to me through reading the UB is that love is not slavery. By temperament a people-pleaser, I used to bend over backwards to please others. I don't do that anymore. Being subservient to the spiritually lazy and morally indifferent is not what love and service are about.
When I first began reading the UB I was a member of a Rosicrucian Order, where several members were also UB readers. One woman said that she had picked up the book at a garage sale. When I asked another Rosicrucian if he thought the book was genuine, he said that he had meditated over that same question and had found that his feet were getting noticeably warm, which to him meant that the UB was on solid ground.
I keep remembering Jesus' saying, "I have other and better worlds," and I look forward to going there one day. I am forever grateful for this tremendous gift. I rely on it completely as I go through the day, through life.