I would say that for about a good 10 years I had drifted away from God, drifted away from spirituality. I felt lost and didn't know why.
Suddenly I had this leading... kind of a push, if you will, out of nowhere that made me hunger for truth. All I could do was think and read as much as I could...I prayed, I meditated, tried hallucinogens, tried lucid dreaming (which only happened once) tried to astral project... which never worked LOL.... read the Bible, any website I could, etc. This went on for a while. I felt better.... but still like something huge was just out of my reach. My partner was like "whoa... you need to read The Urantia Book." I'm like "what??"
Although she never read it her very best friend her whole life had, and that's what he believed. I am thinking hmmm... never heard of it... what is it?
Her friend is very cool and so the next time I hung out with him I asked him what he believed. He told me The Urantia Book. I will say he did not give me a huge explanation as to what it was but he said that it is a really high level of reading (which didn't faze me - I love to read) and that it was about God, the universe and the life of Jesus - and if I want to know the truth he couldn't explain it better than if I just read it.
I thought what the hey.. sounds kind of harmless even if it's not true. I thought I am just going to go into reading this book with a TOTALLY open mind and see where it takes me. I went to several book stores. No Urantia Book.... I finally got the book from the Good Will Foundation. It's a used copy in pristine condition (I'm assuming someone bought it and never read it, or maybe they really take care of books lol) for 8 dollars... no shipping! Now that I've read it, I can't believe I only spent 8 bucks on it! I thought it was cool that someone else owned it. It's odd but I wondered who the previous owner was... anyways I went into reading it with skepticism.
It did not take long at all for me to be totally engrossed in this amazing book. Seems that it answered a whole bunch of questions, then when it answered them I came up with more and it answered them, too. Now, on the second reading, I have a whole new set of questions. It never stops giving. Seems to me that all the little pieces in me came together and finally clicked. I find now in the past year I am really conscious of how I interact with other people and how I view them. I try not to judge, I try to treat everyone as a brother and sister and - like Maya Angelou says - "nothing human can be alien to me." To me, that means a lot because you may look at someone and say... oh, I would never do that or act that way... but we are all the same... all human beings - and Jesus loved everyone no matter what.
I find this part of my life very hard and I feel as though I fall short a lot even though I try every single day. At least now I AM trying. I've got a long way to go. I've heard that when the student is ready to learn the teacher will appear. I was ready. I hungered and it came. When I try to get others to read they are interested but do not read. I am puzzled by this... WHO DOES NOT WANNA KNOW!! lol... But the friend that introduced me to the book says... "when they, too, hunger for the Truth.. they will remember this book... and they, too, will read it... in their own time.
Thanks all for listening to my story.