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A Sense of Soul Security

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In 1976 I was living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with my first husband. A close friend of ours, George Cheshire, had been to Colombia on business, and while there he met a nice American couple named Archie and Rustic When this couple needed to come to the United States to get supplies for their ranch, George suggested they stay with us.

Archie and Rustie were wonderful houseguests. They even cleaned my house the first day while I was at work and spent a lot of time visiting with me. I was 25 years old and these were the first people I'd ever had great philosophical discussions with - in fact, they were the only people I'd had deep, meaningful talks with up till that time. One night I asked them, "What is that big blue book that you read, that five-pound book that you carry everywhere with you?"

"Why, its The Urantia Book," they answered, "and we saw one on your bookshelf when we were cleaning!"

My husband claimed that some girl had once given it to him and he had simply stuck it on the shelf. I never saw him read it, and the following year when we divorced I asked him if I could have it. Since the answer was no, I bought my own copy for $26 - a lot of money to me at the time.

My second husband would hum the theme song from The Twilight Zone every time he saw me reading The Urantia Book, so I didn't pursue it much around him. I didn't mention it to my third husband until I had finished reading at least half the book. Our children were in preschool and I was around 40 by then, living near Boulder, Colorado.

As a child I had disconnected from God and stopped all prayer, although I continued to attend church and go through the motions. After having children I tried harder to feel something but it simply wasn't happening - I didn't know how to connect. The Urantia Book is a difficult book to read cover to cover, but something compelled me to finish reading it, if it was the last thing I did! And I was determined to understand the damn thing, too! Along the way I learned to relax and savor it because I realized that I have all of eternity to learn. At some point I gained an awareness of the eternity of my soul; a sense of soul security beyond explanation. I went through my "dark night of the soul" - my spiritual crisis - when I finally asked God to help me tear down my walls and give me the courage to open my heart and allow him back in.

When I finally finished reading The Urantia Book I connected with the Urantia community in Boulder, which was very active, and where I met people who've become precious friends. There I also went to work for the Jesusonian Foundation, which disseminates The Urantia Book and secondary works. One day, while searching through their large mailing list trying to locate an Archie and/or a Rustie (I had never known their last names), I came across an Archie and Rustie Lowe in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. It was them! Although they were actually living in Texas, they owned property in Colorado. They came to our regional Frontier Conference, and after eighteen years I finally had the chance to thank them for being the instruments that got me connected with my Father.

Life has not gotten easier for me; perhaps it is harder than it might nave been, but it is definitely not a lonely journey anymore. The Urantia Book was my doorway to re-establishing my personal relationship with God. I feel very fortunate and very blessed that I finally committed myself to reading this life-changing book.