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10 years ago I had an abortion. I really regret
what I did and I wonder what has happened to the
soul of the child. How can I come to terms with
what I did and will I meet my child after death?
I am so sorry...regret is a terrible thing to
bear, and I can
sympathise. I don't share your same experience,
but I have wrestled
with overwhelming regret, and it can be
debilitating.
First of all, let me try to put your mind to rest
regarding the fate of
your child. According the the teachings of The
Urantia
Book, your child
is safe. While your child was not old enough to
have possessed a soul
(and this is true of any child under the general
age of five years), it
does have a potential soul, and a potential
identity. Your child is
located at the Probationary
Nursery, and is being lovingly cared
for by the cherubim until such time as either of
its parents arrive on
the Mansion Worlds.
Here's a wonderful quote from The Urantia Book
regarding your possible
future experience with your child:
But irrespective of parental experience, mansion
world parents
who have growing children in the probation nursery
are given every
opportunity to collaborate with the morontia
custodians of such
children regarding their instruction and training.
These parents are
permitted to journey there for visits as often as
four times a year.
And it is one of the most touchingly beautiful
scenes of all the
ascending career to observe the mansion world
parents embrace their
material offspring on the occasions of their
periodic pilgrimages to
the finaliter world. While one or both parents may
leave a mansion
world ahead of the child, they are quite often
contemporary for a
season. (47:1.5)
In any
event, your child is not lost, so please try to
take heart from this
information. Our Father is not willing that any
should perish, and
knowing that, we have to trust that even unborn
mortals are
given the same opportunity for eternal life that all mortals
enjoy.
I like to think that there are special places in
the nursery where the
unborn are
nurtured and grown in safety and love. That is my
own imagining, since
this specific circumstance is not covered in The
Urantia
Book, but I feel sure that some provision
is made, so that
eventually,
he or she will be able to choose to advance...and
that you will
sometime be able to meet. There is nowhere in The
Urantia
Book that teaches otherwise.
And, just in case you have questions about your
own survival, please
see our featured page on Life
After Death.
As for coming to terms with your actions, let me
quote a favorite
passage from The Urantia Book that has been of
great solace to me:
Do not become discouraged by the discovery that
you are human.
Human
nature
may tend toward evil, but it is not inherently
sinful. Be
not downcast by your failure wholly to forget some
of your regrettable
experiences. The mistakes which you fail to forget
in time will be
forgotten in eternity. Lighten your burdens of soul by speedily
acquiring a long-distance view of your destiny, a
universe expansion of
your career. (156:5.8)
It is important that you learn to forgive
yourself, and move forward. I
am sure that, at the time, you did this for what
may have seemed to be
good and sufficient reasons. Ten years is a long
time to carry this
burden on your heart, and for your own well-being,
you must release it.
Maybe the knowledge that your child is not really
lost will help you to
do that.
Said Jesus:
"My disciples must not only cease to do evil but
learn to do well; you must not only be cleansed
from all conscious sin,
but you must refuse to harbor even the feelings of
guilt. If you
confess your sins, they are forgiven; therefore
must you maintain a
conscience void of offense." (156:2.7)
So, you can see from this comforting passage from
Jesus that the first
step in your renewal is to confess your
wrongdoing, which you likely
have already done, and receive God's
forgiveness for it. And one of the
surest ways to receive that
forgiveness is to practice the forgiveness of
others in your life who
may have wronged you.
Again, from The Urantia Book:
The Father in heaven has forgiven you even before
you have
thought to ask him, but such forgiveness is not
available in your
personal
religious experience until such a time as
you forgive your
fellow men. God's forgiveness in fact is not
conditioned upon your
forgiving your fellows, but in experience it is
exactly so conditioned. (146:2.4)
So, while you are already forgiven, you will
actually experience the
fullness of that forgiveness as you, in turn,
forgive others.
Yours is not the first case that I have heard of
where there is regret
following this decision. I am adding your letter
to our site (minus any
identifying information, of course) in hopes that
others may see your
experience and think twice before making this
life-changing choice.
Maybe you could look for an opportunity to
personally minister to women
who are facing this dilemma; in this way, you
could see some real good
come from your experience.
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