A: Thanks for writing to us here at TruthBook.com . We are a website dedicated to the teachings of The Urantia Book , a 21st century revelation from God to mankind.
It sounds like you are at a low point in your life right now. You don't give details, but the root of your problem appears to be that you have not felt lucky in love—you can't have the one you say you love the most...I am sorry. Sometimes, the search for a suitable mate in life can bring these kinds of feelings, and this is the source of a lot of heartache in many.
Right now, all you can think about is this lost love, and it sounds as if this has been happening for a long time ... "I'm always sad with my life," you say.
I say that if this is a pattern in your life—if your feelings of sadness about your life keep happening—if the ones you love don't love you back and you wonder why, maybe it is time to re-examine how you are living your life, and how you can change it for the better."Love" is one of the most commonly used, and one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. It is important to understand what "love" means to you. What kind of love did you want from this one that you say you love the most? And what is the nature of the love that you gave to this person? Why did you give this love?
Another very important question—maybe the most important: How much do you love yourself?
This is a passage From The Urantia Book:
All true love is from God, and man receives the divine affection as he himself bestows this love upon his fellows. Love is dynamic. It can never be captured; it is alive, free, thrilling, and always moving. Man can never take the love of the Father and imprison it within his heart. The Father’s love can become real to mortal man only by passing through that man’s personality as he in turn bestows this love upon his fellows. The great circuit of love is from the Father, through sons to brothers, and hence to the Supreme. The love of the Father appears in the mortal personality by the ministry of the indwelling Adjuster. Such a God-knowing son reveals this love to his universe brethren, and this fraternal affection is the essence of the love of the Supreme.
True love is always out-going, always sweet, humble, and unassuming, as in this famous Bible verse:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
And this kind of love does not expect any return (it is "not self-seeking...") Love is its own reward... It is not sought as a possession that we can receive and keep. Because all TRUE love is from God, it is eternal and ever-present, it is a "great circuit" which is given, received and given again. It can never be hidden in the heart. But it is important to actually receive it from God, and to love yourself first and foremost—only then you can love another as you love yourself...
"...It is not possible to respect yourself more than you love your neighbor; the one is the measure of the capacity for the other." 156:5.14
Give this passage some serious thought.
Love, and loving, should make us happy inside. It should be our great delight to love another. The more love we give, the more love we get—not necessarily from people, but from God. And this love then can be given again and again...even when we get nothing in return. If you keep expecting people to meet your expectations, you will always be disappointed. God never disappoints.
When you accept God's love in and for yourself, you will be filled to overflowing, and giving that love will provide you with a joy that will be all-sustaining and very attractive. Inner peace with God and happiness make us more confident, more friendly, and more loving...
You are the architect of your life. If your life is not to your liking right now, it is good to know that you can change it. Sometimes, we come to a point in our life when we might want to take a new direction in order to get where we want to be. That is good news! Set your mind on a new solution to your problems, and ask God to guide your steps in all of your relationships...and who knows what wonderful new relationships maybe just around the corner! Stay close to God and have an expectant faith...cultivate that inner peace that can't be shaken.
Thanks again for writing to us with your concerns. Please feel free to write back anytime. I know that you'll be able to turn things around in your life soon. Pray, and listen for God's guidance in your heart..."