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Are marriages made in Heaven?

Q: Are Marriages fixed in Heaven and taking place on Earth, as per the creator's will?

A:  It is a sweet idea, isn't it—this belief that two people are somehow divinely ordained to be together? And it could be that having this belief can influence two people to work harder than they otherwise might to make a marriage work. But we learn in The Urantia Book that marriage is a strictly evolutionary social institution, and of purely human sanctity—it evolved in response to the need for the stability and progress of humanity. Out of the marriage institution the family was created, which The Urantia Book teaches is the "master civilizer." Marriage allowed for stability of the family unit.

I suggest that you read HERE for more information regarding Urantia Book teachings about this vital development in human civilization. And in the meantime, here is a partial section from Paper 83—"The Marriage Institution" which clearly addresses your question :

(83:8.2) The likening of human associations to divine associations is most unfortunate. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship is a material function of the mortals of the evolutionary worlds. True, indeed, much spiritual progress may accrue consequent upon the sincere human efforts of husband and wife to progress, but this does not mean that marriage is necessarily sacred. Spiritual progress is attendant upon sincere application to other avenues of human endeavor.

Neither can marriage be truly compared to the relation of the Adjuster to man nor to the fraternity of Christ Michael and his human brethren. At scarcely any point are such relationships comparable to the association of husband and wife. And it is most unfortunate that the human misconception of these relationships has produced so much confusion as to the status of marriage.

It is also unfortunate that certain groups of mortals have conceived of marriage as being consummated by divine action. Such beliefs lead directly to the concept of the indissolubility of the marital state regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. But the very fact of marriage dissolution itself indicates that Deity is not a conjoining party to such unions. If God has once joined any two things or persons together, they will remain thus joined until such a time as the divine will decrees their separation. But, regarding marriage, which is a human institution, who shall presume to sit in judgment, to say which marriages are unions that might be approved by the universe supervisors in contrast with those which are purely human in nature and origin?

Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred.

As you can see from the above quote, marriage is not "fixed in Heaven," nor is it necessarily the "creator's will."

However, I think it is safe to say that marriage is the highest estate to which one can aspire for the purposes of creating the family, and fostering those Godly ideals of love, loyalty, devotion, forgiveness and tolerance that are so vital to a successful marriage and a successful society. When two people are mutually united in this endeavor, and most especially when when they have God at the head of their union and the resulting family, this marriage can be surely an example of a "sacred" union, and this kind of union is well-worth pursuing.

Vast numbers of people desire this kind of ideal close relationship when they enter into marriage, and yet unfortunately, we can see how many marriages are dissolved when the going gets tough or intolerable. A great many marriages do not even rise to the level of the sacred, but are entered into in a quite secular way—for any number of reasons.

One may surmise that a marriage that is fixed in Heaven would be highly likely of success. There can be many reasons for the great number of failed marriages, but it is simply further evidence of the purely human nature of mortal marriage.

Thank you again for writing to us—I hope that this response has been helpful to you."

:: Date published:
:: Author: Staff